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D
Posted on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 04:22 am:   

Just thought I'd start a thread to keep track of the various zines Rhys stories keep popping up in.
He has a wonderful story Office Castaway in the latest Whispers of Wickedness print zine, available free from D@ookami.co.uk. I know he's due to appear in quite a few other places too.
I think he must be the most widely published writer I know!
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Neil A
Posted on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 05:57 am:   

Rhys also has an excellent little story forthcoming in Fragment #2:

http://www.fragmentmagazine.co.uk
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 07:27 am:   

Many kind thanks, D and Neal!

I prefer to have "appearances" to "appearences" but the latter aren't so bad... I am now tempted to post here a list of ALL my short story publications...

Today I counted the number of stories I have written. The total is 321. I reckon about 250 of those have been published. I'll have to check. Bear in mind that this has taken nearly 12 years...
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Bowen Mendenhall
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 - 01:08 pm:   

It delights me to imagine that you will still be publishing in 24 years. But it infuriates me to imagine that you will stop publishing in 24 years! Do you have any plans to publish a collected corpus at #s 333, 500, 666, 1000, or any similarly fractious point? I for one would appreciate it, especially if it did not go immediately out of print and was available from amazon.com.
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D
Posted on Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 03:48 am:   

Lol, at least if writing doesn't pay off you can always get a job as a spellchecker!
321 short stories, that's a fair few, this could turn out to be a longer thread than I intended!
But hey, why not??
Lots of positive feedback on the ones in Whispers, so I guess you're still writing as well as ever.
I'm not so sure about the collection of 1000 stories tho', that would be one heck of a substantial volume! Where would I start? And I bet you didn't even include poetry.....
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 07:31 am:   

Bowen: I'm worried that maybe you can read my mind!

Getting to #333 is a target I'm quite excited about (to be more precise getting one-third of the way through story #334 -- which should really be a Disch tribute piece!)

After that: #500 will be a biggie, as will #666 (or two-thirds of the way through #667), and then of course #1000, the last story I'll ever write, which I plan to compose using only the words in the titles of all the other stories.

I calculate that story #1000 will be about 3200 words long. It would be even cooler to make it a more numerically significant length, but that will depend on how I manipulate the titles of stories not yet written! I may have to have some ridiculously long titles to make up the wordage.

So far my longest title is 'The Old House Under the Snow Where Nobody Goes Except You and Me Tonight' which so far has been published only in a Serbian translation in Belgrade. I anticipate longer titles eventually.
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Neil A
Posted on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 08:02 am:   

"#1000, the last story I'll ever write, which I plan to compose using only the words in the titles of all the other stories."

Rhys, does this mean you're conscious of this fact when titling stories?

My own plans are much more modest and will hopefully see me through the next four or five years.
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 09:52 am:   

Yes, fortunately (or unfortunately) I'm conscious of that fact.

Well sort of conscious of it.

I'm too lazy to be totally OuLiPo!
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Nicholas Liu
Posted on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 07:45 pm:   

Off-topic, but Rhys, did you get my email?
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 02:35 am:   

I did, good sir. I'm still thinking about what to send.

Tomorrow I'll pick and send something!
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Nicholas Liu
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 05:52 am:   

Thanks much! Good of you to be so patient with us.
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Bowen Mendenhall
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 01:17 pm:   

You're right to worry, Rhys. I can't in fact read your mind, because that would be silly, but what I can do is program a computer with every documented thought you've ever had, along with a generic set of all thoughts ever thought by greater than 90% of Welshmen of your age, height, and socioeconomic background with a polling error of plus or minus three percent, and then extrapolate any new thoughts you might have. As you can see, it's not entirely accurate; it missed the one-third in "three hundred thirty-three and one third", for example. I think the influence of the average Welshman is dragging down the whimsy quotient. But in general it's completely reliable. I have the next 150 of your stories on my desk right now, and as I type the Rhys-o-tron-o-matic-bot sitting on the corner of my desk is cranking out the 472nd! Thank god for technology!

You may say that such a database would take years to develop, and that collecting your thoughts would take even longer, considering how long-winded you are. This is true! I spend the next ten years of my life working on it, and the next fourteen after that building a time machine to bring it back to now, so that I wouldn't have to go through all the work to get it. Thank god for paradox!

You may also say that if I will have a time machine in 24 years, when you've finished your epicyclic cycle, that I needn't have built the thought-generator at all, but just brought your complete works of fiction back instead. I could have saved myself the trouble of plowing through accumulated days of "What's an amusing phrase involving toads?" and "where's the thesaurus, this third word isn't a pun yet". But that would be cheating. Thank god for intellectual honesty!
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des
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 02:14 pm:   

I think all stories should be untitled. des
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ben peek
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 03:28 pm:   

i agree with des.

i tried it once, actually. sent off one story without a title, couldn't sell it. whacked a title on it just to see if maybe this was the reason, and then, hey, taken. so who knows.

i would also like to call my stories, 'ben peek's story, #8' or whatever number it is.
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des
Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 10:42 pm:   

Yes, like Beethoven's Symphonies, for example. (Maybe they'll get a nickname like the 3rd becoming the 'Eroica'?)
Des
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steve r
Posted on Friday, December 05, 2003 - 04:48 am:   

Bowen Mendenhall, you wouldn't happen to be our missing third member? Very witty! If you're not the excised part of the Trinity, and if you write fiction yourself, then let us know here! I offer our board for the purpose. Due to my great age (OK, and bad habits), I won't be around for the 500th story, so if you could allow me to download your computer predictions?

Today I confessed my toothful love for my dentist. She laughed. But she didn't charge me for the treatment. Should this be enough to stop me committing suicide?
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Rhys
Posted on Friday, December 05, 2003 - 05:34 am:   

Steve: I was starting to suspect that Bowen was another one of your avatars! Does this mean that he is a separate entity?

Spooky!
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steve r
Posted on Friday, December 05, 2003 - 01:02 pm:   

Well, if so, we'll have to Borg him! Unless 'he' also turns out to be two people.
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Bowen Mendenhall
Posted on Friday, December 05, 2003 - 03:52 pm:   

I'm extremely flattered. I am in fact an independent being, and have no idea what this talk of a missing third member is about. Steve, you have a board for fiction? I would like to post there, but I'm kind of scared of trying to write actual stories. Plot doesn't come easy to me.

Also, Steve, I happen to know that redwoods routinely live for over 1000 years. You won't trick me into violating copyright law that easily! That's entrapment! How much is the FBI paying you??
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, December 06, 2003 - 04:41 am:   

Is that FBI the Forest Branch of Investigation? They arrested me once. They said it was because I was a sap!

But I certainly don't expect forgiveness for that abysmal joke...
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steve r
Posted on Saturday, December 06, 2003 - 01:42 pm:   

The law on revealing Rhys's future thoughts is still quite vague, so you're not really in any danger. (From the thoughts, yes, but not from the law.)

I haven't got a board myself (except when I'm being Rhys) but I'm sure the nice lady over at www.ookami.co.uk (who started this thread) would like to receive an offering....

No ,Rhys, no forgiveness, even though you had us in splinters.

A man has been despatched this very morning from Madrid to go to London's Forbidden Planet to procure those percolating stars.
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Rhys
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 - 05:58 am:   

I have a spare copy for you now, Steve, if you want it...

I don't know your snail-mail address by the way. Any chance of e-mailing it to me at:

rhysaurus@yahoo.co.uk
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steve r
Posted on Monday, December 08, 2003 - 10:02 am:   

Good Plan B. There really is a friend in London this weekend, so let's see if he has any luck first.
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 - 05:27 am:   

He failed me, never got time to visit West End. Address will be tied to snail's back.
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D
Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 - 08:18 am:   

Not one of my snails I hope! Actually we left the door open for the dogs the other day and the cold got in, which means half of them are hibernating and the other half are feeling a bit 'sluggish' too.
Steve if you want a thread over on Whispers just start one. If two or three people do the same I'll start a writer's threads section.
I may even add the pics from your Whispers bio :-)
(see what you get for tying things to my pets!!!)
Oh, and you will be reviewing that book I take it???
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travellin' light
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 03:44 am:   

Thanks, D, but if I started my own thread it would become too embarrassingly obvious that no one loves me!! (Only because they don't know me, of course!) Or, if for some reason they did begin to love me, I would have to reply when I wasn't in the mood. I prefer the cuckoo solution. Till I get thrown off, that is...
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D
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 08:50 am:   

Well cuckoos are welcome too. As long as they don't eat snails, which, actually, I think cuckoos do.....
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steve r
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 11:23 am:   

Yep, shells an' all!

Wales' funniest joke (according to some academics) over on Whispers. Escargots are involved.
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Eric S
Posted on Tuesday, December 16, 2003 - 02:54 pm:   

I saw while skimming through the message boards that you had 666 messages, that fearful number of the beast, and so I felt obliged to ratchet up the number of messages.

I will feel so ashamed if in RhysLand, that 666 is THE lucky number.
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 04:10 am:   

Eric,. your life is in danger. Rhys has been working for weeks to reach his natal number - then you go and spoil it! Rumour has it in Wales that exactly 666 minuters passed before the child unleashed his first pun on the Valleys.
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 04:47 am:   

No, Eric is right. I was regarding the possibility of exactly 666 messages with despair and bitterness in my heart...

I therefore thank him profoundly for saving me from such a fate!
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 04:53 am:   

Just thought I'd add that the message numbers I like best are:

6, 28, 496, 8128, 33550336 and 8589869056

I'm a sucker for perfect numbers!
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 08:18 am:   

Calling Bowen Mendenhall! Calling Bowen Mendenhall! Please tell us the contents of Rhys' messages 8128 and 8589869056. (I know message 33550336, because it's one I'm going to write myself.)
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Bowen Mendenhall
Posted on Friday, December 19, 2003 - 03:01 pm:   

I'm flattered, Steve, and I mean still flattered from before rather than flattered again, although I was flattened again yesterday, for... let's see... it must be the third time now, Migrant's Day. But I digress in an unreadable fashion.

Unfortunately, I left the RhysOTronOMaticBot in my dorm room and I'm currently on break at home for the Winter holidays, like Migrant's Day. Also, it only predicts what Rhys thinks, so if as is statistically likely the 6128th post is going to be made by someone else, it would be of no help at all. Sorry!
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, January 03, 2004 - 05:46 am:   

My *best of 2003* review is now up at Fantastic Metropolis.

http://www.fantasticmetropolis.com/show.html?rw.2003-hughes
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steve r
Posted on Sunday, January 04, 2004 - 11:59 am:   

An interesting read, your 'best of'. By coincidence, this very day someone bought me (with a bit of persuasion)a Strugatski brothers book, 'Jromaya Sud'ba', which you'll instantly recognise as being sometbning like 'Broken Destinies' (I guess. Spanish is 'Destinos Truncados'). Anyone here read it? (Ostensibly about a computer that evaluates literary texts.) And the Calvino trilogy still sits here, with the non-existent knight as yet unreached.
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Rhys
Posted on Friday, January 09, 2004 - 06:19 am:   

Currently reading:

Fiction
Italo Calvino -- Time and the Hunter
Samuel R. Delany -- Driftglass / Starshards
J.L. Carr -- A Month in the Country
Strange Tales from Tartarus

Non-fiction
Harry Mathews -- The Case of the Persevering Maltese. (Thanks to the excellent Gabriel Mesa for giving me this).


Currently listening to:

Los Amigos Invisibles -- The Venezuelan Zinga Son
Funkadelic -- The Electric Spanking of War Babies
The Rough Guide to the Chicago Blues
Stereolab -- Dots and Loops
Natacha Atlas -- Diaspora
Yes -- Tormato. (A truly hideous album!)
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2004 - 03:35 am:   

Currently writing:

The Crystal Cosmos (an SF novella)
Bone Idle in the Charnel-House (novelette)
The Ace of Clouds (short story)
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 08:27 am:   

Currently reading:

Wei Hui -- Shanghai Baby


Currently listening to:

The Rough Guide to the Music of Thailand
Nitin Sawhney -- Prophesy
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steve r
Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 04:41 am:   

Just read your 'Corneropolis' in www.fragmentmagazine.co.uk . Lovely. I remember once being distracted from th e transcendental business of looking at girls from a Parisian corner café by a street performer who would walk behind passers-by, imitating all their movements. He was extremely quick, so that even when someone sensed (from the laughs of th eonlookers) that something was going on, by the time they turned round, the performer was behind them again, and imitating their perplexity...
So... maybe the narrator's wife was behind him all the time (whether she existed or not).
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 06:29 am:   

Greetings Steve!

The narrator's wife didn't realise she was his wife -- in fact she probably wasn't even aware of his existence!

In the immortal words of Otis Lee Crenshaw: "Some people call it stalking / I just call it creative walking..."

That street performer sounds interesting, though!
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2004 - 12:49 am:   

Rhys, remember our grazing days at 'Rhapsoidia'? Well, click on http://www.rhapsoidia.com/index.html
and you'll see it's alive again, and a certain person has been nominated for a Pushcart. And what, pray, will you put in your cart when you wheel it away? (It's not a woman-sized cart....)
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2004 - 05:44 am:   

I'll put myself in that cart, Steve! And I'll wheel myself down some interesting slope towards something intriguing... (don't know where or what yet!)
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, August 26, 2004 - 03:11 am:   

New online story at:

http://lostpages.net/dfl2004rhyshughes.html

Partly inspired by the Camino del Rey (which I passed on the train from Cordoba to Malaga)...
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 11:34 am:   

Nice one! Just goes to show you should never trust a giant, even when dead. Loved the line, 'some (people) are digested by their own incompetence.'
The name Mr Lewis? Of Lewis and Clark? Or are you suggesting...?
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 06:28 am:   

Thanks Steve!

The story I'm writing for Isabel should be ready soon. Is she back in Madrid yet? Or shall I send her copy of INFAMY to you to pass on? (And send you your copy too, of course!)
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steve r
Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 11:04 am:   

Something tells me you're not getting my emails - unless you mean, is she back from Paris? Should be back today, in fact.
Maybe easier if Infamy comes here. I lure her into my pad, not to see my etchings, but my infamy...
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Ronan Pronost
Posted on Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 11:45 pm:   

Hi,

Just received the winter issue of Whispers of Wickedness, and there's a new story by Rhys called Chianti's Inferno which is a treat for everyone who likes Italian wines...
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D
Posted on Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 12:01 pm:   

Anyone who wants a free copy of Whispers only has to mail me... D@ookami.co.uk
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Rhys
Posted on Friday, December 03, 2004 - 05:36 am:   

Today I finally succumbed to temptation and started my own blog:

http://rhysaurus.blogspot.com/

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