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des
Posted on Monday, February 10, 2003 - 09:16 am:   

This is a public service announcement. If you click on 'Last day' at the bottom of the 'topics' list, you can get a handy guide to all the posts that have occurred in the last day. Each post eventually vanishes uopn this diurnal lathe. Glancing at this at any one moment, you can see who are the current leviathans of postings. Des ;-)
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 02:40 am:   

"Last Day" is an alarming title for a new thread...

So if it really was your last day and you HAD to read a book, which one would you choose???

I'd probably go for something short and sweet. Maybe DAPHNIS & CHLOE by Longus.

What about you lot?
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Des
Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 07:56 am:   

'In Search Of Lost Time' by Proust. Des
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Des
Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 08:08 am:   

Reading that will be like 'irrotating' the diurnal lathe I mentioned before.
Treadwheeling against the inevitable falling off of my last message. Des
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Jorge
Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 03:12 pm:   

I'd twist the rules:

"So, you want me reading a book, eh? OK. Then I'll be reading as I write a book about my last day. It might become short, but it'll surely be intense. I'll try not to whine too much."

Reading a book in one's last day is a waste of time - you won't have time to let it settle down, you won't be changed by anything you read, all you can do is plunge in the frustration of "oh, what a marvelous thought, now just what can I do with it? oh, right, nothing, I won't be here tomorrow".
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Jack Haringa
Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - 05:37 pm:   

I think I'd be tempted to re-read something that was bittersweet and filled with wonder and expectation, a reminder of the marvel of existence that also suggested something beyond the material. Of course, it would also have to be short enough that the bittersweet flavor would have a chance to linger, and to dredge up memories like a madeleine dipped in tea.

Maybe A.R. Ammons's "Sumerian Vistas" or Lucius Shepard's "Kalimantan". Or Jonathan Carroll's Outside the Dog Museum (if I were feeling ambitious).

Jack
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 02:32 am:   

Remember: this is your last day and you HAVE to read a book. A force is compelling you to do so... Some malignant supernatural librarian with incredible powers is making you read a book, whether you want to or not... The only good thing is that you are allowed to choose the book.

When you have finished reading it, you'll be allowed to go and do something else, rejoin your wife and children, get drunk, eat a big pizza, whatever you like...

So poor Des will have to read his Proust at a phenonomenal speed if he wants to have any free time before his last day comes to an end! That's why I believe it's better to choose nothing longer than about 100 pages!
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 02:42 am:   

Nearly forgot... Thanks Jack for recommending that A.R Ammons book. I've never heard of him but I like the title SUMERIAN VISTAS so much that I feel an urge to seek it out. So I will!
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Jorge
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 04:45 am:   

Ah, under those new rules, I'd probably read, say, Miniaturas by Paulo Kellerman. It's a 44-page booklet with 50 flash-stories, none of them too sophisticated or mind-boggling. Readable in 15-20 minutes. Pretty forgettable too. Then I could forget all about it and go out have fun... :-)
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GabrielM
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 08:09 am:   

Perhaps Ben Rice's POBBY AND DINGAN?
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Des
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 09:05 am:   

OK, I'll abandon that diurnal lathe image (which *would* have enabled me to read the whole of Proust on my last day) -- and plump for anything by WG Sebald. Des
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Jack Haringa
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 12:20 pm:   

Rhys, I hope you like him. Ammons is/was a metaphysical poet of sorts who won the National Book Award twice, a few Guggenheim fellowships and a MacArthur Genius grant. He was Goldwyn-Smith professor of poetry at Cornell up until his death in 2001. I was lucky enough to take a verse-writing course with him as an undergrad there.

Thinking further on this topic, I'd be inclined toward reading some other poets as well on my last day, particularly Theodore Roethke's The Far Field and its "Sequence, Sometimes Metaphysical", or some selected works of Thomas Traherne.

Jack
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Tamar Y
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 02:19 pm:   

Hamlet. Then I'd probably still have plenty of time left, so I'd read Ecclesiastes.I'd still probably have time, so I'd turn the page and read the Song of Songs.
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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 02:21 pm:   

I'm not sure I would read a book on my last day. If I did, it would probably be Album Zutique. ;)
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Jorge
Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003 - 04:25 pm:   

There's that AZ thing again... argh!... :-)
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Simon B
Posted on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 04:42 am:   

Hm. Rhys, there is no supernatural, so how can a supernatural librarian compel me to read a book? I'd probably go for Louvish's DAYS OF MIRACLES AND WONDERS or one of the Avram Blok trilogy; failing that, I might just indulge myself with a Stephen King- PET SEMATARY or DOLORES CLAIBORNE,maybe. Or, perhaps best of all, I'd finally take the chance to finish Potocki's MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN SARAGOSSA...
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 07:54 am:   

How can a supernatural "Simon B" refuse to be compelled by a supernatural librarian?
And you are supernatural, aren't you???
But anyway... long books those! :-)
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Luís
Posted on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 10:33 am:   

I'd spend my last day just *deciding* which book to read.

Cheers, Luís
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 02:16 am:   

OK, that's plenty of suggestions for *last day* books... Thanks for those!

But now the supernatural librarian has let you go only for you to run into the clutches of a supernatural waiter -- who forces you to eat a very big pizza!

You can't refuse, because he's supernatural, and you have to choose TWO toppings for this *last day* pizza. You can't leave the restaurant until you have eaten the very big pizza of your choice.

You aren't alowed to choose impossible or inedible toppings, such as dodo-and-ambrosia or ghost-and-mountain. They MUST be real toppings and there must be two of them!

I would go for rucola-and-roasted bell pepper...

What about you?

(And it's no good saying you'd rather do something other than eat a pizza on your last day: the waiter is SUPERNATURAL for heck's sake!!!)
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iotar
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 06:24 am:   

"malignant supernatural librarian with incredible powers"

Hey! Less of the malignant! I'd re-read Vance's The Dying Earth... no - hold on, I'd re-read Emphyrio... no - actually I'd re-read Night Lamp... oh, dammit, I'd read something by Vance - but the world might end before I chose which one.

Pizza: Um, black olives, capers, garlic and artichokes. I assume we get tomato and mozzarella on there as standard.

Any garlic bread?
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iotar
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 08:05 am:   

Damn, that's more than two - silly me. Um, can I just go with black olives and chillies then. I want my mouth to feel like Armageddon!
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DF Lewis
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 08:26 am:   

Anchovies and pineapple (cheese taken as read). Des
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DF Lewis
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 08:46 am:   

Rhys, I suddenly remembered something, after writing above (which was a genuine choice on the spur of the moment - something I would have just ordered in a pizza place given the chance).
Below is a real quote from a 'Deathrealm' magazine of the mid-nineties, where KEW used to have a series of articles in each edition (anyone remember them?):

"I saw Elvis at the mall last night. He was eating pizza with DF Lewis. Can't think why they'd ordered anchovies."
- Karl Edward Wagner

Des (slightly bemused yet again by the power of serendipity!)

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iotar
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 08:48 am:   

Was pineapple amongst the fruits that Rhys displayed at the Dusk Cafe?
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Luís
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:11 pm:   

Mushroom and green pepper pizza, plizza!

(iotar, nice to see you here!)
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Des
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:21 pm:   

Iotar has got a Board on:
http://www.dusksite.ukgo.com/discus/messages/14/14.html?1036858539
Des
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Des
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:23 pm:   

Iotar has got a Board on:
http://www.dusksite.ukgo.com/discus/messages/14/14.html?1036858539
Des
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iotar
Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 12:38 pm:   

Luis: You can *see* me? Jesus, now I'm scared! Well, I'm pleased to see you too! (That'll get him worried - heh, heh, heh...)

Des: Cheers Dezzarelli!

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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 02:33 am:   

I forgot to say that tomato and cheese are indeed included automatically. The supernatural waiter is forcing you to have two EXTRA toppings...

The cheese and tomato pizza -- the margherita -- is the only true pizza. It should be thin crust and cooked in a wood-fired oven. Any other type of pizza, such as the grotesque "deep pan", is a travesty (sometimes a tasty travesty, but a travesty nonetheless). Try asking for a "deep pan" in Naples! Go on, I dare you!

Anyway, what you are being forced to eat on your *last day* is a margherita pizza with two extra toppings... Just thought I'd clear up that point!

What I'm trying to do is reconstruct (or predict) the average fantasy writer/reader's *last day* in careful detail... books, food, transport, music, etc. It may be a slow process, so bear with me, but when I have all the results I'll be able to write a report about the sort of *last day* that may affect us all!!!
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iotar
Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 03:00 am:   

Can I have a calzone pizza rather than a thin crust? God, I feel like I'm 'phoning out for dinner here!
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Mastadge
Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 04:22 pm:   

I guess what I'd do depends on what kind of last day it is. If I was just going to die or something at the end of the day, what I'd do would be different than if it were to be some kind of apocalyptic-end-of-the-world type of last day. In the former example, I'd do some things, whereas in the latter I'd probably try to find a really nice seat with a view and see what the end of the world looks like. But I digress. . .

My pizza . . . mushrooms (of almost any (non-poisonous) variety; surprise me) and pineapple. Considering it has to be a margherita with extra toppings. My favorite pizza, though, is the BBQ Chicken pizza with Barbecue sauce instead of pizza sauce and chicken on top.
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, February 20, 2003 - 02:50 am:   

As a brief diversion in our *last day*, I thought I'd just share this website with you all. I'm always interested in discovering new artists and I chanced upon this:

http://www.tcart.com/

I'd be interested to hear the views of anyone else on her work. (You can do this while eating your imaginary pizza!)
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Jorge
Posted on Monday, February 24, 2003 - 10:20 am:   

U neyo interessnaya poezia na russkom yazyke...

:-)
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 02:53 am:   

Hmmm!

OK, let's get back to our *last day*...

You've read your last book, you've eaten your last pizza. Now it's time to travel 10km from the pizza restaurant to a concert hall...

In keeping with what has gone before, you can't REFUSE to travel this distance. You are being forced in a supernatural way...

But you DO have a choice as to what transport you use.

So what mode of transport WILL you choose to cover those 10km???

You aren't allowed to use impossible methods of transport -- no canoes carved from giant bananas or chariots pulled by winged monkeys.

The modes of transport have to be REAL!

Right, I'll go first! I choose to cover that distance in... an autogyro!

How about you?
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Jorge
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 05:54 am:   

Passerole.

Oh, wait, no impossible transportations?

A balloon, then. With luck, the wind would be blowing in the opposite direction and I'd be blown away not by the concert but from that last day thing...
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Luís
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 07:04 am:   

Obviously a monocycle -- if I knew how to ride one.

Heh, the old Wacky Races cartoon comes to mind . . .
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Des
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 07:40 am:   

A cheap day return a bus. Des
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iotar
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 07:56 am:   

DLR
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Mastadge
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 09:08 am:   

Feet. Given a choice, I always prefer to walk, and ten km isn't so bad. Unless it's on the highway. But if there's anything scenic at all, I'd prefer to walk.
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Tamar
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 11:24 am:   

By gondola. As long as the gondolier doesn't spit.
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Luís
Posted on Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 11:36 am:   

Ah, gondola. Good choice.

"O sole mío . . ."

Cheers, Luís
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 02:50 am:   

Well, as Nietzsche said:

"On the bridge I stood
But lately, in the dark night.
From far away came the sound of singing;
In golden drops it rolled away
Over the glittering rim.
Gondolas, lights, music
Drunk, swam far out in the darkness...

My soul, a stringed instrument,
Invisibly moved,
Sang a gondola song secretly,
Gleaming in bright happiness.
- Did any hearken?"
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 10:29 am:   

Hmm, well obviously nobody did hearken after all! :-)

OK, so that's transport sorted out. You've completed the specified distance from the pizzeria to the concert hall.

Now you enter the concert hall and sit down and listen to a concert -- the concert of your *last day*.

What is it?

You can't refuse! It's the supernatural thing again...

So who is the concert by? What piece of music is it?
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Tamar
Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 11:43 am:   

I hearkened, Rhys! There's room for four in my gondola, by the way.

I'd get out of my gondola to listen to a medley of Bach concertos in an intimate little palazzo, performed by a chamber orchestra of amazingly handsome black-haired Italian violinists.
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Des
Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 11:47 am:   

A Book With Seven Seals by Franz Schmidt because there is no way I can make a decision on this, so I've chosen the last piece of music I heard before reading the above request to choose. Des
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Mastadge
Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 12:45 pm:   

Beethoven. Ode to Joy.
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Jack Haringa
Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2003 - 02:39 pm:   

I suppose to make the day last, one could opt for Wagner's complete Ring cycle--and be begging for Ragnarok by the second act.... But for a pleasant end to the end, Bach's "Musical Offering" performed by the Scottish Ensemble or the Academy of Ancient Music or McCoy Tyner playing the whole of his "Things Ain't What They Used to Be" album. This is assuming the performers have to be living.

~Jack~
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iotar
Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2003 - 11:44 am:   

Can are playing Mother Sky - they've got Damo Suzuki back on vocals and Miki Karoli has been resurrected (Hell, it's the last day!) and they're jamming with Jordi Savall's Hesperion XXI, who are doing all this amazing Sephardic shit from medieval Spain. Monserrat Figueras is duetting with Damo on vocals, and Miki and Jordi are trading licks on strat and viol de gamba. And this version of Mother Sky last for *hours* rather than the usual eighteen minutes.

Oh, and Julian Cope is being burned in the background for being a prat.
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GabrielM
Posted on Monday, March 10, 2003 - 09:51 am:   

Easy. John Coltrane's A LOVE SUPREME.
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 08:01 am:   

Interesting choices there...

I had difficulties choosing the music for my own *last day* concert. I flirted with all sorts of options, including Villa-Lobos, Erik Satie, Conlon Nancarrow, Harry Partch, George Crumb, the Cocteau Twins, Daniela Mercury, Paivi Arling, Ernesto Lecouna -- or even all of them together... Though maybe I'd rather Satwinder Bitti singing 'Penda Gidha' just for me...

In the end, the real answer was obvious: the Sirens who enticed Odysseus. That's the music I want to hear on my *last day*. The song of the Sirens!

But now the music is over. You've read your last book, eaten your last pizza, made your last assisted journey and listened to your last concert... You are on the point of leaving the concert hall when a supernatural force compels you to turn into an animal for a hour!

Yes, just for one hour in the lobby of that concert hall, you must be transformed into a beast or bird. You can't refuse!

Which animal do you choose?

I'm going to be a toucan. What about you?
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Des
Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 09:32 am:   

The Infinite Cuckoo.
Des

PS: There is a story called 'Sirens' in Nemonymous 3.
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Mastadge
Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 01:01 pm:   

I'm tempted to say Meerkcat. Or Aardvark. Or Goldfish. Perhaps Triceratops. Or a Bittern. But, in the end, I suppose I'd have to choose to be a Phoenix.
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Luís
Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 02:07 pm:   

I'd be a Lemur.

Best,
Luís
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Brrrrian Frost
Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2003 - 02:08 pm:   

Penguin. Wait-- damn...
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iotar
Posted on Thursday, March 13, 2003 - 01:58 pm:   

Goose, a canada goose. No, hold on - a goat. Yes I want to be a goat. Perhaps a combination of the two: A goot or a gose...

No, wait up, I'll be a barnacle goose. One of the ones that develop from lumps of wood. I used to have dreams about them!
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Mastadge
Posted on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 10:41 am:   

hmm. . .so what's next on out *last day* itinerary?
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 06:01 am:   

Er... well after being an animal and running (or flying) loose for an hour, a supernatural zookeeper comes and puts you in a cage and takes you home, where you revert to your correct, human form.

He lets you out of the cage and sits you down on a sofa. You are facing a television and a DVD player. You MUST now watch a film, any film...

Which film will it be?

(This *last day* of ours is rolling on, the hour hand of the clock is moving slowly but relentlessly... The time now is about mid-afternoon. When midnight comes, all the answers to all the questions will be put into a hat and selected at random. Anyone who has chosen at least two of the selected answers will be spared... For them this will not necessarily be their last day... And they will win a prize. Probably books. Or fruit.)
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iotar
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 06:53 am:   

The Greatest Story Ever Told. Give me a big budget, cheesy, technicolor, biblical epic every time. And if it really is the last day, I'll be seeing Max Von Sidow very soon.
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Mastadge
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 07:46 am:   

Ooh. Tough one. I'll have to think about this one a bit. But just to narrow it down, it will NOT be Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Nor will it be The Stand.

Perhaps Lawrence of Arabia. Or Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or The Lion in Winter. Or RoboCop.
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Des
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 08:01 am:   

Death In Venice.
Des
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iotar
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 12:40 pm:   

Ooh! I'd take Death in Venice just for the Mahler! Can I listen to Mahler on a personal minidisk while watching The Greatest Story Ever Told?

And can I have salted popcorn? Please, Mum?
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Bob
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 08:35 pm:   

The Seven Samurai. But since things are slightly supernatural, I'd very much like to be able to understand it in its original Japanese, please.
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Mastadge
Posted on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 10:21 am:   

Hmm. . .I think I've got it. THE PRINCESS BRIDE. Short, sweet, and ridiculous.
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steve r
Posted on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 12:06 pm:   

Life of Brian - in order to go out with a song!
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 05:08 am:   

Lots of great choices there! I think for me it would have to be a Gong Li film, probably *Temptress Moon*...

What drink do you have during the film? (You must have one -- it's the no-choice thing again!)

The time is about 2:00 PM.
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Mastadge
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 06:19 am:   

Grapefruit juice. Fresh squeezed. Cold.
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Bob
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 10:45 am:   

Mocha Latte with whipped cream and sprinkled cinnamon on top!
What? Don't look at me like that.
Actually, there's a brewpub/movie theater here in town -- Portland -- that has a cream stout just this side of Guinness. Terminator Stout. I'd like three, thanks.
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Tamar
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 11:42 am:   

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and a glass of chilled Sancerre. I don't usually drink during the day, but it *is* my last, so, what the hell.
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RT
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 12:28 pm:   

My Neighbor Totoro, possibly. But then, I reject your notion of only one movie on your last day. I reject it utterly.

Rotating Meerkat
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iotar
Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 01:37 pm:   

Cold Hoegaarden with a slice of lemon. Served in the proper glass, naturellement!
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steve r
Posted on Sunday, March 23, 2003 - 06:25 am:   

I´ll simply drink in the beauty of the woman who will of course be sharing my last day. And some eggnog (sorry).
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 07:34 am:   

Caipirinha, literally the "little hillbilly", is one of Brazil's most popular cocktails. It is made with cachaga (a liquor distilled from sugarcane). This version is from the Caesar Park hotel.

1 large lime, quartered
10 teaspoons sugar
4 tablespoons cachaga or white rum
1 1/2 cups crushed ice

Divide lime and sugar between 2 short glasses. Using wooden spoon, mash lime and sugar In each glass. Mix 2 tablespoons cachaga into each. Stir 3/4 cup crushed ice into each and serve.

Snacks to go with your drinks?

For me: Bombay mix!
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Des
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 07:56 am:   

Drink: a bottle of Bishop's Finger beer.
Snack: Welsh rarebit.
Des
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John Klima
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 08:06 am:   

Rhys:

I've also had a version of Caipirinha where you add some grated ginger. It gives it a nice zing.

Nigella Lawson had a great recipe for roasted nuts with fresh rosemary that people can't get enough of; at least that was our experience. Being a (former?) midwesterner, I always like a nice cheese ball to snack on with drinks.

JK
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iotar
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 08:21 am:   

Salted roasted broadbeans and those nice olives they sell in the turkish shop up the road from me.

Des: Ah, yr going with the Shepherd Neame beers - I'm sitting here with a bottle of Spitfire as we speak. At work! A disgrace!
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 08:39 am:   

Grated ginger in a caipirinha? Sounds intriguing. I might try that...

Roasted broadbeans? Heavens, sir, that reminds me of Sunday dinner two decades ago: with Yorkshire pudding on a side plate and Bamber Gascoigne on University Challenge. Simultaneously.

Bishop's Finger is a nice brew. But I'm very mitteleuropean in the beer department. Pilsner Urquell from the Czech Republic and Union Pivo from Slovenia. Those are my choices.

But I've already chosen. It's too late to change!
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Mastadge
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 11:45 am:   

Snack, huh? And it has to go with our drinks?! Well . . . what goes with grapefruit juice? Perhaps a grapefruit? Hmm . . . I'll have to get back to you on this one.
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Bob
Posted on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 12:34 pm:   

Thick slabs of beef braised with sea salt and black pepper. And yes, that's my idea of a snack; I'm a large man....
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 02:58 am:   

Are you? Whoops! I've just criticised 'large men' for mouthing pro-war sentiments while being a liability in real combat...

I was actually referring to myself!
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Bob
Posted on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 03:31 am:   

HA! Er...wait....
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 07:02 am:   

Here's a small thought:

Every time I enter the Night Shade website I'm confronted with the news that "album Zutique is now shipping" and an image pops into my mind of some sort of battleship or aircraft carrier setting off for the Gulf... but crewed by delicate aesthetes in cravats and mascara, with green carnations pinned to their velvet coats and glasses of flaming absinthe in their hands!

Anyway...

I wonder if anybody else who has contributed to this *last day* project has felt envy at someone else's choices?

I certainly feel that way about Mastadge's selection of grapefruit juice (especially with a grapefruit to accompany it)... But is it ruby grapefruit juice? That's the crucial question. Grapefruit juice is my favourite drink, but ruby grapefruit juice is even better! (Is that logically possible?)

Anyone else have an envy they'd care to confess?
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Mastadge
Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 07:34 am:   

Yeah. I envy your music selection. The Sirens. I wish I'd thought of that. :-)

However, in all reality, since the woman I love is a cellist, on my last day concert what I'd most like to hear is her playing. I'd rather hear her playing Row, Row, Row Your Boat than hear the finest rendition of any of my favorite symphonies or musical selections by somebody else. Just a thought.
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Mastadge
Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 07:35 am:   

And yes, it's ruby grapefruit juice. The real question is whether the accompanying grapefruit is also ruby. . .
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Rhys
Posted on Friday, March 28, 2003 - 01:48 am:   

Oh yes, an important point! Mixing red and yellow often spells danger! (If on snakes why not on fruit???)
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iotar
Posted on Friday, March 28, 2003 - 05:55 am:   

I though mixing yellow and red often spells orange.
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Stephen
Posted on Friday, March 28, 2003 - 07:22 am:   

Portnoy's Complaint

Pear Nectar

No
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Impatient
Posted on Saturday, April 05, 2003 - 03:18 pm:   

Can we move from mid- to late-afternoon yet? Or does the last day last only until two o'clock rolls around?
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, April 07, 2003 - 10:37 am:   

Yes, you are right! It's time I constructed some sort of timetable here. After all, it's our LAST DAY!!!!!!

I guess our last days look something like this so far:

We slept soundly in a very comfortable bed and woke at dawn, which was at about 07:00. Feeling very refreshed and full of energy, we got out of bed and had a shower. Then we made ourselves a cup of delicious coffee. We pottered about a bit. Finally just before 09:00 the supernatural stuff started happening! This was probably the first time any of us realised that we were in our *last day*...

09:00 : The supernatural librarian called round and forced us to choose a last book to read.

11:00 : The time for reading was up (and if you chose a long book, your eyes were compelled to move at a velocity sufficient to complete the book, which probably isn't pleasant). You were taken to a restaurant and compelled to eat a pizza with two toppings of your choice. It is pointless to complain that it's too early for lunch. Supernatural forces don't debate issues!

11:30 : You were bundled out of the restaurant and forced to travel 10 km in your chosen mode of transport. You are given half an hour to make this journey. If you arrive early, you must loiter in your transport. It is impossible to arrive late: if your vehicle proves too slow it will be magically accelerated at the last minute to arrive on time!

12:00 : The concert of your choice begins.

14:00 : The concert ends. You become an animal for precisely one hour.

15:00 : You are forced to watch a film. You are given only 90 minutes. If the film you have chosen is shorter than this, it will be slowed down accordingly. If longer, it will be accelerated. I know this isn't fair: blame the supernatural forces! During this time you must consume your chosen drink and snack.

So... the time is now 16:30. The film comes to an end. You are given one hour to go walking with one other person. This person MUST be a dead figure from history. They can be obscure, but an internet search using Google must confirm that they did exist! No fictional characters are allowed.

Who do you choose for your walk? And where does that walk take place?
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steve r
Posted on Monday, April 07, 2003 - 01:05 pm:   

It would have to be Ataturk, one of the very few cases in history where a military dictator has done more for his country (Turkey)than all the politicians. We would walk in Galiboli, and not mention the war!
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Monday, April 07, 2003 - 01:45 pm:   

I would choose Leonardo da Vinci, but we wouldn't walk, we would fly over crowded Florentine streets on one of his inventions. (Even if they don't work, he's dead, and I'd join him at the end of the day anyway, so . . .)

Or, I'd walk the deck of a ship bound for Constantinople, and discuss Venetian blinds with Enrico Dandolo.

Or perhaps I'd go on a fast walk with Gandhi.

It's a difficult choice, really.
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Mastadge
Posted on Monday, April 07, 2003 - 02:21 pm:   

Since this is supernatural, can we assume that we can somehow understand one another, despite any linguistic differences?
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Mastadge
Posted on Monday, April 07, 2003 - 02:32 pm:   

Maybe Roland de Roncevaux. Or Crazy Horse. Or Jesus. Or maybe I'll walk with Solomon through his harem.

I agree, it's a difficult choice. I'll have to think some more about this one. . .
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iotar
Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2003 - 02:43 am:   

I'd go for a walk with Valentinus around Alexandria. We'd argue about the exact order of the archons and their hypostasis... or should that be hypostases?

Brilliant to finally catch up with you last night, Rhys.
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, April 14, 2003 - 04:18 am:   

Brilliant to meet you too, iotar!

What can I say about the broad beans? Fantastic!!!

I've just received a photograph of my (hideous) self at the event last Saturday... I actually thought I was reasonably good looking until I saw this picture. Now I know the truth!

Why, O why, didn't somebody tell me sooner???

I can't put the picture here because it's not a *jpeg*... Phew!
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Isabel
Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 07:15 am:   

Now you know why I went back to Spain so quickly!
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 08:20 pm:   

It's probably the same phenomenon we discussed some months ago in my little thread down the board, remember?
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 02:27 am:   

Put it like this, Luís, if I was somebody else I would NOT choose Rhys Hughes as the person to go walking with on my *last day*...

But obviously I'm not somebody else. Therefore I choose Leo Africanus as the person I go walking with. And the location of our walk? Old Cordoba. Or modern Tarifa. Or maybe the snowy mountains and forests of Lebanon.

Yes, supernaturally, we are able to talk in the language of the person we choose!

It's a shame this part of our *last day* only lasts one hour...
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Mastadge
Posted on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 12:37 pm:   

And how far does this supernatural stuff go? Could I, say, walk on the moon?

Because that's what I want! I want to walk with Jesus on the moon! If the moon's out of the question, I'll settle for the bottom of the Mariana Trench. No pressure!
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Rhys
Posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 05:44 am:   

Yes, you can walk on the moon. That's absolutely fine. I'm not sure about the Mariana Trench... Oh what the heck, ANYWHERE is allowed. Sailing through the Rings of Saturn on a crystal schooner... Walking on the surface of an ocean of honey with Salma Hayek... Anything at all!

It is, after all, our last day!!!!!!

Well now, the walk is completed. It is 17:30. The person you are walking with vanishes and you are cast naked into a shop which sells outfits for fancy-dress parties...

You have exactly twenty minutes to choose a costume and dress in it. You are NOT allowed to remain nude or to dress as yourself. The supernatural shopkeeper who runs the place won't permit that. It is against his rules!

What costume do you choose?
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iotar
Posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 06:05 am:   

Well, naturally I would dress as Alice. They would provide me with a wig, or it would happen that in the months leading up to the end I would have grown my hair to an ample length. And for such a teleological soiree I would even remove my facial hair.

My domino would contain lenses to my exact specification so that I wouldn't have to wear glasses.
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 06:21 am:   

But Salma Hayek's not dead! You said it must be a dead historical figure.

Anyway, I could buy a vine leaf and go as Adam, but the night is chilly and there's no Eve in my Death's Eve. It would be even sadder because I'm agnostic, so not only I'd go naked and date-less, I'd be an orphan too.

Instead, I'll get a big metal dish with a hole to fit round my neck, and an invisible cloak to conceal the rest of my body. I call this outfit "Head On A Plate". The invisibility can either be magic or achieved through advanced technology, I'm not particular so long as it's convincing.

Best,
Luís
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ben peek
Posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 05:04 pm:   

batman.
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 02:47 am:   

LOL! This is already starting to resemble a party scene from Michael Moorcock's DANCERS AT THE END OF TIME!
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Des
Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 10:12 am:   

Many people say I look like Richard Gere - so I'd do him. Last days need the lightest touches.
Des
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Luís Rothrigues
Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 10:30 am:   

Now that you mention it, I'll be Tim Roth's head on a plate.

Best,
Luís
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Mastadge
Posted on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 04:26 pm:   

Darth Vader
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 07:12 am:   

I first thought that I might choose to go dressed as an Aztec emperor. Then I decided that I wanted to be a macaw (maybe one of that emperor's assistant macaws). But finally I realised that I really want to go as a lighthouse... or even better -- a pulsar!

I'd stand in the middle of the party with my costume spinning rapidly and sending out signals which might be falsely interpreted as an attempt to communicate.

The only disadvantages with this costume are that I'd miss out on the canapes, flirting and jiggery-pokery! Ah well!

(This question was too similar to my carnival question on another thread: blame the supernatural force, not me!)

The time is now 17:50.

Another supernatural force comes along and disrobes you. Then it leads you to a desk upon which rests a sheet of paper and a pencil.

This supernatural force gives you one hour to write a poem. The poem MUST be a limerick. This limerick MUST be about your own life...

No cheating is permitted! You really must try to write about your existence so far -- and it must be in limerick form!

Good luck!
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Mastadge
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 07:22 am:   

An American student named Nate
was a poet of the second rate.
If he could but rhyme
at least half of the time,
his professors would be less irate.

Damn. That doesn't exactly encapsulate my existence. I'll give it another go this weekend. And for the hell of it:

A poetical farmer named Frost
took a fork in the road and got lost:
"I feel so forsaken
on this road no one's taken
I must find my way home and get sauced."
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Robert Devereux
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 11:18 am:   

I came to this late, so I've got catching up to do:

Book: Neil Gaiman - Neverwhere. It's a fun book, and readable within a few hours, so there's plenty of time to do other stuff after reading it.

Pizza: If I'm going to be accosted by a supernatural force, I may as well abuse it and go for something difficult, something I'd never try unless the world was actually ending - cannibal pizza. Or, barring that, some other odd meat (cobra, komodo dragon, tiger). Roasted bell peppers sounds like a good second topping though. The meat would have to be cooked in a curry sauce.

Transportation: My first thought was to ride on an elephant, but 10K of that doesn't sound too fun. Gondola sounds better (and yes, that was inspired by other choices here).

Concert: I'd have to go with the Tea Party, for their Tea & Symphony show (rock band, orchestra, tabla ensemble, acrobats & Indian dancing). I didn't get to see the real thing, so in my fantasy end of the world, I would get to see the show.

Animal: I'm a bit tempted to act out misanthropic urges and turn into a tiger (or a predatory dinosaur) and hunt people, but kangaroo sounds like it could be fun without being destructive.

Movie: Cemetery Man (aka Dellamorte Dellamore). Part b-grade zombie movie, part art film. It satisfies both impulses in me.


Drink: iced tea (my own brew, not that horrible store-bought stuff)

Snack: I make a cookie I rather like - chocolate, peanut butter, nuts, oatmeal and coconut all mixed together - almost everything that is good in desserts in one place.

Person: Robert de London - I'm not sure if you'll find him in Google, but if you read The Tartar Khan's Englishman you can find out about him. English priest, excommunicated, joined the Knights Templar, was thrown out of there, traveled to Mongolia and became the Mongol's chief diplomat. I'd want to find out more of his life. Sounds like fiction, but he's not. Location: instead of walking, can we float through underground glowworm caverns?

Costume: I want a skeleton costume - not something with bones just drawn on, but so you can actually see through it and it looks like a real skeleton.

Limerick: You are a cruel man. I don't claim to have any writing talent, so this is as good as you will get from me.

There was a musician named Rob
He had a dull computer job.
With his income he bought musical toys
that enabled him to make weird noise
that would hopefully not inspire a lynch mob.
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Des
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 11:26 am:   

I lived life pent by time’s cruel moat,
Writing nought but what I surely wrote,
Burned up the ladder,
Mad and yet madder,
Till I tripped and Nemo got my coat.
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ben peek
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 06:25 pm:   

my life has been someone's cruel little game
so i burned everything until there was no blame.
now i am poor and singular and that's just fine,
fight for gain, claw for holds, ignore that line,
and don't let anyone tell you black is insane.
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iotar
Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 11:59 am:   

There was a jung fella called Chook,
Whose nose was oft found in a book,
Or iotar they called him,
A pseudonym he told 'em
Related to the battle of Tobruk.

!?
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 02:49 am:   

Brilliant everyone!

Keep them coming. But for everyone who has finished their limerick already: the supernatural force now wants you to write another poem!

It wants you to write a haiku which encapsulates the life of your wife, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, etc (if you have one)... This is so that you don't have to spend the remaining part of the hour just twiddling your thumbs!

So: a limerick about yourself, and a haiku about the one you love! (It can be a past lover if you prefer).

In many ways, this is a terrible idea. But it's not my fault! The supernatural force is to blame!

(When the *last day* is finally over, there will be several prizes for one contributor [I've mentioned this before] and a de-luxe copy of the complete ghost stories of Oliver Onions will certainly be one of these prizes).
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iotar
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 03:56 am:   

dandelion girl
feeding the cat
tasty fishes
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Mastadge
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 04:42 am:   

iotar. . .I may be wrong, but I believe the form of a haiku is

5
7
5

not

5
4
4

My limerick in its final form is just a slight revision of the earlier:

An American student named Nate
was a pupil of the second rate.
If his work were on time
at least half of the time,
his professors would be less irate.

As to the haiku. . .well, I'm seeing her again tonight after faaaaar too long, so I'll try to get it up sometime in the near future. :-)
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ben peek
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 04:48 am:   

she was the brittle
wind; raw tongue down my throat.
lick lick lick lick lick.

(how did i become involved in this?)
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iotar
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 05:05 am:   

I think there's a few approaches to haiku - one, as you say is based upon the 5-7-5 scheme, where others would foreground the importance of capturing the moment, contrast, association or double-entendre. This is a zen form after all - we're supposed to be breaking pottery here!

Okay, so my haiku achieves none of these - but then again, it's not in japanese either! :-)
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Des
Posted on Friday, May 09, 2003 - 10:19 am:   

Girl with glass calves
Brittle in strength splint 'er
My diphthong darling
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Rhys
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 05:40 am:   

Well I can't really ask anyone to do something I wouldn't do myself! (Even though it's the supernatural force that's doing the asking and not me.)

So here is the limerick of my life:

"There was a young Hughes with a quiff
who was neither very supple nor stiff.
He wandered around
and two weeks ago found
a teddy bear chained to a cliff."

It is absolutely true and accurate in every detail!

Now here's the haiku:

"Eastern law student
existing above the sun --
Judge me on appeal!"

I probably got the number of syllables wrong. But it's my *last day*, so I shouldn't be criticised too much!
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New Weirdmonger
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 04:50 am:   

Great Stuff, O ClimboTallestTree.

This thread is a modern day wonder - full of fey vintage quaffings from the pungent lastdayisms of yore.
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Murphy
Posted on Saturday, May 24, 2003 - 09:07 am:   

The Life of Murphy

I was born, and survived years of school,
Drank and loved like a fish and a fool.
My brain was for hire
Till I had to retire,
Filthy-rich, but a tube up my . . .


Faced with cemetery-freckles and gruel
I've opted for body renewal . . .
"Dear Dr. O'Dwyer,
Murphy's failed to expire!
Lost his dosh. Going ga-ga. How cruel!"
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steve r
Posted on Sunday, May 25, 2003 - 12:07 am:   

Murphy? THE Murphy? Who revealed to the world the fundamental Law of existence? I see now why you were a bit pessimistic. And to show you how much you influenced me...

I wandered the world with eyes open wide,
Looking for love, but not for a bride.
Then I grew old,
And the ladies quite cold,
And the passion's all withered inside.


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Murphy
Posted on Sunday, May 25, 2003 - 02:57 am:   

It's bad enough realising,in a flash of lucidity when they change the tubes, that the Murphy School of Limerick has been torpedoed by the Silver-Tongued One of Swansea starting a fashion for haiku . . . but then to find the esteemed author of "Fisher of Devils" (my Last Day read, by the way, that's sunk it) claiming I 'influenced' him into perpetrating such a metrically deficient pair of opening lines . . . But you know the Law.
Did you mean something like this?

Life Of A Strolling Drone

I wandered with eyes open wide
Seeking love, but, of course, not a bride . . .
And then? I grew old.
And the ladies? Turned cold.
And my passions? All withered inside . . .

Ahhhh . . . Now do the Ant and the Grasshopper. Nurse! Nurse! Where's my rubber duck?
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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 04:55 am:   

Cool! Now the limerick and haiku ordeal is over. What's next?

The time is 18:50. This *last day* of ours is coming close to entering its final phase...

The supernatural force now gives you 45 minutes to do something really confusing...

Over on Jeff VanderMeer's board there is a discussion about superheroes and their powers. Several people have suggested ideas for new superheroes with unique powers.

The supernatual force tells you that over the next 45 minutes it is possible that you will suddenly acquire a superpower... but not even the supernatural force knows what this supernatural force might be.

Maybe you'll be able to climb walls, fly, see through clothes, etc. It will be entirely random.

However, you are allowed to choose ONE superpower that you WON'T be given.

In other words, you must now choose the power you DON'T want!

For instance, I choose NOT to have the power of holding intelligble conversations with bars of soap.

How about you?
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Des
Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 05:18 am:   

The power of being able to ignite a safety-match by scraping it against a bar of soap.
Des
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Mastadge
Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 06:30 am:   

The power of being able to get clean without a bar of soap. Or any other kind of soap, for that matter.
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ben peek
Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 10:24 pm:   

i'm now terrified of having the power that turns me into a bar of soap. so, i don't want that.
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Bob
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 12:44 am:   

The power of holding intelligible conversations with anyone from Swansea.
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 01:47 am:   

The power of holding a bar of soap up to whoever's engaged in intelligible conversation with anyone from Swansea, and who also happens to be holding a burning match in his or her hand after striking it against that bar of soap.
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iotar
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 04:50 am:   

The power of public self-flagellation.
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 06:00 am:   

I don't want the power to choose a power I don't want.
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Robert Devereux
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 07:35 am:   

I don't want the power to spontaneously combust.
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steve redwood
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 08:13 am:   

The power to cause beautiful ladies to spontaneously combust at the sight of me, whether or not I have recently self-flagellated with a bar of talking soap spiked with Swansea safety matches. (Trouble is, I aleady HAVE this power!)
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, July 14, 2003 - 03:20 am:   

Good. The time is 19:35. Probably time for a light meal -- but the supernatural force won't let you. Oh no!

Now it insists that for the next half hour you sit on a chair made of any element. What element do you choose?

For instance I choose to sit on a chair made of frozen argon -- with an insulated cushion. What element do you choose?

(Yes, I know this is a boring question, but it's the supernatural force who's asking, not me...)
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Mastadge
Posted on Monday, July 14, 2003 - 04:34 am:   

Does The Fifth Element count? Can we sit on a chair made of love (or Milla Jovovich)?
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iotar
Posted on Monday, July 14, 2003 - 08:18 am:   

I'm going to sit of a chair made of Dumbo! And he can fly me about with his big flappy ears! Yeah!

Hold on... you did say "elephant", didn't you?
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Des
Posted on Monday, July 14, 2003 - 08:30 am:   

A chair made from bits of all the chairs in which I've ever sat from 1948 onwards
(loos don't count nor do anything that weren't designed to be a chair, like beds and sofas and couches and chaise longues and bean bags and air mattresses and park benches and window seats etc., but seats like garden chairs, armchairs, deck chairs, high chairs, swivel chairs etc. do count). Des
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Bob
Posted on Monday, July 14, 2003 - 07:51 pm:   

I think I'd like to have a chair made of depleted uranium. Hey, it's not like the heavy metal poisoning I'll get as a consequence is going to kill me.
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, August 11, 2003 - 03:03 am:   

The time is 20:05.

Only four hours of your last day remaining!

The supernatural force now gives you exactly 10 minutes to think of an inscription for your headstone. This inscription will be 'published' above your grave just after midnight.

What are these inscriptions?
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Des
Posted on Monday, August 11, 2003 - 12:09 pm:   

Please use this headstone as a chair-back to rest your weary bones above my dead ones.
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Luís
Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 12:35 am:   

IT IS NOW SAFE TO SHUT DOWN THE UNIVERSE

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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 07:20 am:   

Hmm, that gives me an idea for an amendment to your tombstone!

THE UNIVERSE WAS NOT SHUT DOWN PROPERLY.
YOUR GALAXY MAY HAVE ONE OR MORE ERRORS ON IT.
PLEASE CHECK ALL COMETS FOR VIRUSES AND OTHER SEEDS OF COSMIC LIFE.
TO RESTART SAY "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"
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Rhys
Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 07:27 am:   

By the way, Luis, you're mentioned as a character in the following review of ALBUM ZUTIQUE #1:

http://www.tangentonline.com/reviews/anthoreview.php3?review=895

You goddess lover, you!
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iotar
Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2003 - 08:13 am:   

YR MUM!

Actually, I've always wondered about those "It is now safe to turn off yr computer" messages. How dangerous can it really be? I mean, if facing down an angry mob baying for yr blood with only a rag soaked in Swarfega to defend yrself is about 7, and putting yr head in an active deep fat fryer is 9; where in this scale would you put pressing the off button before you've recieved the all clear from the operating system.

Makes me sick. Ugh!
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 05:13 am:   

It has been almost 3 months since you were asked to do a *Last Day* task...

The time is 20:15. The supernatural force gives you 15 minutes to explain what you have been up to in your absence... But it has to be a blatant lie... An ordinary lie isn't good enough: it must be as blatant as possible...

For instance, I have been cutting off my nose to spite the north face of my ego.

What have you been doing?
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des
Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 08:20 am:   

I've been on a trip walk felling.
df lewis
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Bowen Mendenhall
Posted on Sunday, November 09, 2003 - 09:56 pm:   

Prizes!

Book: I agree that the best book would be one which summons up bittersweet memories. So, the yearbook of my freshman year of high school. Youth is wasted on the young!

Pizza: Chicken and Garlic. My favorite is chicken, garlic, black olives, and onions, but chicken and garlic is a serviceable abridgement.

Transportation: Russian rocket boots.

Concert: Well, I was meant to go to a Radiohead show in September, but didn't. However, on my last day I would prefer something less weepy, so how about Hella, Lightning Bolt, and My Name Is Rar Rar performing "Revolution 1" at triple-speed and then speeding off into an extended, vicious jam. At the end they kill each other with razors, and the screams are the most melodic part of the performance.

Animal: Then I turn into a carnivorous apatosaurus and devour the corpses. The stones in my belly will blunt the razors and prevent them from harming me.

Movie: Sickened of carnage, I watch something escapist and immature, like "Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo."

Drink and snack: That bastard Jeffrey Ford managed to convince me that "Princess Jang's Tears" was a real drink. I'd like some of that to wash the tang of razors and rock musicians out of my mouth, and maybe some carrot slices or a wheat tortilla. If I'm in America where I'm too young to drink, I'll take a root beer.

Person: Isaac Asimov. What's wrong with me?!

Costume: One halloween when I was a baby, my mother dressed me and my friend (babies don't really have friends) in single-piece green bodysocks of the sort babies wear, the ones which are baby-shaped bag with a hole at the top. Then she put us in a green two-baby stroller, and proclaimed us "two peas in a pod." I would like to wear a similar green bodysock, but adjusted to fit my current frame.

Limerick:
There once was a person named Bowen,
whose socks left his larger toes showin'.
He played Dungeons and Dragons,
read books and imagined
That one day a girl he might be knowin'.

Haiku:
At fifteen I knew
whom I wanted to love me.
But not at sixteen.

Epitaph:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

And now I am caught up. Here's my lie:
I carved a living boy from a block of soap and rowed him across a dead sea of felt-tipped monkeyed lanterns to attend the calcification of Jesa Christ, where twelve (one for each finger) epopts of familial disregard ignored me to attend the births of my five grandmothers and the simultaneous printing and binding of the stone obelisk, Buckshot, their husband.

Ashamed of being young and tardy,
Bowen
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Rhys
Posted on Monday, November 10, 2003 - 06:27 am:   

Thanks for that, Bowen.

Excellent in every way!
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neil a
Posted on Tuesday, July 13, 2004 - 01:56 am:   

Wake up, sleepy thread!

Pizza: Garlic Mushroom and onions (this is the last day--I don't care how my breath smells

Book:

Maybe this one:

http://tinyurl.com/3of4z

Transportation: Dog sled

Concert: Tori Amos

Animal: Something that could fly fast, like a peregrine falcon

Film: Maybe Bladerunner

Drink and Snack: Organic pressed apple juice and some Sprungli chocolate

Person: Leonardo Da Vinci (and translator)

Costume: Aren't I a peregrine falcon by now?

Superpower: Immortality
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Posted on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 11:20 am:   

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Rhys
Posted on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 06:41 am:   

SPAM OFF!
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des
Posted on Sunday, February 27, 2005 - 04:48 am:   

Rhys, "Nasty Piece Of Work" thread here:
http://tinyurl.com/4blno
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