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John Klima
Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 12:08 pm:   

With all the heavy conversations going down on different parts of the board, I thought I'd inject some humor into everything and talk about a piece of mail I got the other day.

I got an invitation to join AARP. For those of you who do not know, AARP is the American Association of Retired People. You are supposed to be eligible for membership upon reaching the age of 50 and the AARP provides you with all sorts of benefits. The biggest benefit I could see is that AARP give you discounts on everything from food to movie tickets to hotel stays.

Now, the AARP--as far as I know--is a great thing. I would be more than happy to become a member.

There's only one issue: I'm 32, not 50.

When I called the AARP, they did not seem surprised at all. In fact, they a procedure set up to keep from sending me more mail in the future. After a tough day (and tough days stretching back into recent memory) it gave me a much-needed laugh.

I need to tell my father, he'll laugh, too.

JK
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Tim Akers
Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 12:59 pm:   

I got one when I was 28. I also get fund raising and alumni reunion mailings from the college that expelled me. Such fun.

Hey, maybe it's a sign. Maybe you're supposed to retire, buy a winnebago, and start trekking. Don't resist the mystical 'bago John. It's calling your name...
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John Klima
Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 01:03 pm:   

I think I'd prefer a mystic Bagel to a mystic 'bago. Too many hunting/fishing trips when I was young to really enjoy travelling the country in one. My wife has an uncle who did that after he retired. Drove it into NYC and got lost down in the Village somewhere. Then had trouble trying to get turned around since the streets were so narrow.

This same guy comes to holidays with at least two cameras, but I don't know what the connection is.

JK
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Gwenda
Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 05:20 pm:   

Right, "32," gotcha.

You realize the AARP just sold your name and address to 500 junk mail companies, right?

G
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Tim Akers
Posted on Thursday, November 20, 2003 - 06:21 am:   

I work for a junk mail company. And actually, AARP probably *bought* his name from a listserv. I always find it amusing to try to figure out what I did to get on certain lists.
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, November 20, 2003 - 11:43 am:   

Ah my evil plan worked and I got mentioned in Shaken & Stirred! Soon I will be mentioned in every blog associated with the field! Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey Tim, if you see my name run past you, can you knock me off the list?

JK
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Tim Akers
Posted on Thursday, November 20, 2003 - 12:51 pm:   

*adds John to the suppress list*

If I had a suppress list, that is. Actually, we do mainly biz to biz stuff, or local mailings. Unless you subscribe to crains new york business, cuz we do their fulfillment.
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 07:24 am:   

Here's a report from my home state:

http://www.wisinfo.com/thereporter/news/archive/local_14044768.shtml

Basically a man in West Bend, WI is suing his cable provider because his addiction to cable has led to his bad health and his wife gaining 50 pounds. He claims that they were unable to stop watching. He also claims that he asked them to stop his service, but they never did, the cable provider merely stopped charging him. First, turn the tv off, second disconnect the coax from your tv and move on with life. Sheesh!

I understand the frustration of a company not doing what you've requested them to do. We've all fought that. But in this case, how hard did he work at getting cable disconnected? Not very hard. Had he just taken the coax cable and thrown it in the garbage, it would've been just like if his cable provider had stopped service.

Hopefully this goes no further than this, and we don't have some lawyer decide that to take up the cause. There is no one to blame for me being over-weight than myself. Sure, if my office didn't have vending machines I wouldn't buy snacks from them (I'd probably just go across the street) but no one is forcing me to eat the damn things. It's my choice to get up and put my money in the machine and buy a unhealthy snack.

It's tougher in restaurants when they give you what constitutes two or three servings worth of food for your meal. I always hear my mother's voice in my head to clean my plate.... But, these days, more often than not, I bring food home. If I'm in a situation where bringing food home is not an option, I order less stuff. Often my wife and I order one appetizer and one dinner total for the two to eat and even then still have food to take home.

Anyway, hope this guys takes his energy for legal proceedings and puts it into jogging or something.

JK
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barth
Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 08:36 am:   

oh yeah, a lifetime supply of internet service oughta put that family back on the road to health and fitness.

ah, west bend...
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Tim Akers
Posted on Thursday, January 08, 2004 - 12:31 pm:   

Well, there's certainly no problem that can't be fixed with litigation. Why, what these two need is a healthy influx of cash, on the order of several cold million. That way, they can pay someone to be healthy *for* them. Problem solved.
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John Klima
Posted on Friday, January 09, 2004 - 07:08 am:   

There's also no problem that can't be solved with a swift kick in the ass. :-)

JK
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Tim Akers
Posted on Friday, January 09, 2004 - 10:22 am:   

Unless your problem is that you find yourself being kicked in the ass.
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John Klima
Posted on Friday, January 09, 2004 - 10:44 am:   

Then a solid blow to the back of the head.

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