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Gordon Van Gelder
Posted on Saturday, October 02, 2004 - 10:22 am:   

NOVELLAS

THE BAD HAMBURGER -55- Matthew Jarpe and Jonathan Andrew Sheen

NOVELETS

THE NAME OF THE SPHINX -100- Albert E. Cowdrey
CHRISTMAS IN THE CATSKILLS -135- Michael Libling

SHORT STORIES

FOG -8- Jack Cady
VIRGIN WINGS -39- Sydney J. Van Scyoc
WALTER AND THE WONDERFUL WATCH -127- John Morressy

DEPARTMENTS

BOOKS TO LOOK FOR -29- Charles de Lint
BOOKS -34- James Sallis
FILMS: MULTIPLEXITY -121- Lucius Shepard
COMING ATTRACTIONS -158-
COMPETITION #68 -159-
CURIOSITIES -162- Bill Sheehan

CARTOONS: J. P. Rini (28), Arthur Masear (120), John Jonik (134).

COVER BY ROB ALEXANDER FOR "FOG"
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S. Hamm
Posted on Saturday, October 02, 2004 - 01:40 pm:   

Sydney Van Scyoc! Holy cow. Nice to see that byline again.
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Kathy S.
Posted on Saturday, October 02, 2004 - 02:10 pm:   

I'm really glad to see a Jack Cady story. Was just re-reading Ghosts of Yesterday; what an amazingly talented and soulful man he was.
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Patrick Samphire
Posted on Monday, October 04, 2004 - 03:18 am:   

Damn it. The December issue already? I've hardly got started with the last issue! (Blew up the power cable on my PDA and haven't replaced it yet)
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John O'Neill
Posted on Wednesday, October 06, 2004 - 02:22 pm:   

Hi Gordon!

John O'Neill here... forgive me posting here to contact you, but I've spent over an hour looking for your e-mail address with no luck (damn my hard drive crash!).

OK, truthfully, I spent about 20 minutes looking for your e-mail address, and then another 20 using the keywords "Gordon," "van," and "Gelder" on Google, surfing interviews with you at Green Man Review & Strange Horizons, and then the last 20 on this bb, reading with utter fascination the various screeds against poor Warren over on the DNA thread, before remembering what the hell I was supposed to be doing. Call it an hour. I will when I explain to my boss why I never got that report written this afternoon.

Anyway, I owe you a big THANK YOU for the dedication for IN LANDS THAT NEVER WERE. Talk about making my week. I've shown the book to my parents, my wife, all three of my kids... it was a thrill, let me tell you. Now here I am a month later, finally remembering to thank you, at the bottom of a BB board you may never read. I suck.

But you don't. You rule. Send me your address. I'll have Alice cook you something yummy and mail it to you. My children have made little drawings of "Golden van Gelder" and put hearts on them. You can't have those, but trust me, you look great.

And don't forget to send me your e-mail address.

- John

John O'Neill
Editor
Black Gate

See the great dedication to IN LANDS THAT NEVER WERE
Edited by my buddy Golden van Gelder
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A.R.Yngve
Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 11:24 am:   

I won the runner-up prize in the "Twist Ending" competition. Yo-hoo! :D

Thanks, Mr. Van Gelder.

-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com
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S. Hamm
Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 12:27 pm:   

Gents,

The e-edition of the December issue just went up at Fictionwise, but for some reason the Libling novelet is not in it. What up with that?
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Libling
Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 07:20 am:   

Ah, gee! Was it something I said? Something I did? Something vice versa?
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Gordon Van Gelder
Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 08:36 am:   

Michael---

Probably, but I've contacted Fictionwise with the missing file and asked them to fix it. Thanks for pointing out the error, Sam. Wouldn't want you to miss Xmas in the Catskills.
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Libling
Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 01:16 pm:   

Error?!?! For years I've wanted to be the subject of controversy and you call it an error! Least you could've done was let me down gently, Gordon.
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S. Hamm
Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 08:55 pm:   

Hey GVG,

Thanks for the speedy customer support! Very much looking forward to reading the new Libling. I've been in the mood for something . . . uncontroversial.

(BTW, the Competition and Curiosities sections must've been ultra-controversial, because they're still missing from the Fictionwise .pdb file.)

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Dave
Posted on Wednesday, October 20, 2004 - 06:55 am:   

I'm still checking my mailbox for the new issue. Probably delayed by all those Christmas catalogs in the mail system.
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John Thiel
Posted on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 11:45 am:   

Uh. I'm not sure I have time for it. LoCcing every issue is a heavy task. Perhaps it's the Puritan-and-specter motif that gives me that feeling. Looks like a "Hanging Judge." That piece of art would go well with the stories I'm getting from one of my contributers for my own publication. On the back cover, ye olde Sand BEM, or robot, rather. Well, what's inside?

Very tradition-breaking presentation on Mr. Cady's story, an uncredited opening verse from Omar Khayyam. Well, it's pretty hidebound legally to expect source crediting after that many centuries, but I look at that first line, "The moving finger having WRIT," and it makes me wonder how long some of these antequated legalistic procedures go on. Well, it appears like it might be Mr. Cady's own translation anyway.

Maybe Matthew Jarpe is the one getting carried away by fast food of the two collaborators in the novella....he's the one most likely to have seen the dining places that occasionaaly appear at the ANALOG forum. I suggest sight unseen that that hamburger was made available at Minnie and Moe's.

Morressy has a good style for fast reading that is profitable to the reader. I think he many be one of the up-and-coming best at the short story.

Yngve wins one of your competitions! That's coming right out of a forum, speaking of them.

--Yr Ever-Lovin' Fan,
John Thiel
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Lou Antonelli
Posted on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 02:07 pm:   

Just got mine in the mail today.
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John Klima
Posted on Monday, October 25, 2004 - 06:02 pm:   

Got mine last week Thursday and neglected posting it here.

JK
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Tanith
Posted on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 04:59 pm:   

Mine arrived in the mail today as well. I'm looking forward to delving into it, as soon as I finish wading through the last hundred or so pages of Atlas Shrugged.

Rob Alexander's cover art is just beautiful for this issue. I wish they didn't have to slap the mailing label over it.

Tanith :-)
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Dave
Posted on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 05:48 am:   

Got mine.

Jumped in and read WALTER AND THE WONDERFUL WATCH by John Morressy. A fun fairy tale, nicely done.

Ditto on the mailing label comment. I can sympathize with the artist. Were I fortunate enough to have a story published in F&SF, I would hate to have part of it blotted out.

I'd pay a higher subscription fee to cover the cost of mailing labels that could be removed without harming the cover.
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JJA
Posted on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 07:04 am:   

I can see why subscribers would be annoyed. I just saw one of our checking copies (a regular subscription copy we have sent to our office), and I saw that the mailing label was placed right over the head of the man in the cover image. Kind of ruins it, doesn't it? Grumble, Grumble.
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John Thiel
Posted on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 08:11 am:   

I used to get GALAXY in manila envelopes. Probably those add to the mailing costs considerably, that's been my experience with the SFBC.
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Pat Lundrigan
Posted on Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 09:13 am:   

You can get F&SF in a manila envelope.
It cost a little extra (can't remember offhand how much).
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John Thiel
Posted on Sunday, October 31, 2004 - 05:41 am:   

Knowing everybody's readying themselves for church this morning, nothing new on the board. Not even a Hallowe'en message.
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Dave
Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 06:07 pm:   

*** warning, possible spoilers ***

CHRISTMAS IN THE CATSKILLS by Michael Libling

I like this story. At first I was nervous that this might be another cannibalism story but in the end it was worse and much better.

I have to say I was thrown for a loop by the sentence: “A wooly mammoth on the rampage.” One problem I have with fantasy stories in a modern setting is that it can sometimes be difficult knowing when the author is introducing an element of the fantastic or simply using a metaphor. Anyway, once I was straight about the mammoth, it was a great ride.


THE BAD HAMBURGER by Matthew Jarpe and Jonathan Andrew Sheen.

I've heard some very positive comments about this story and I liked how it started. The idea of a murdered AI and “meat riding” was fascinating. There was an strong undercurrent of humor, but it didn't start out as a farce. The first bump for me was the entrance of the dog/avatar which proceeded to lick itself. It felt like a cheap trick. I put the story down. I’ve tried a couple times to get back into it, but I feel like a man in a room full of chairs booby-trapped with whoopee-cushions—I can’t seem to get comfortable.
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RobRoyH
Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 08:30 am:   

Has any other subscriber from the Southern US not yet seen their copy in the mail?

Our mail delivery has suddenly become suspect over the past 3 or 4 weeks, arriving now very late in the day and my copy of the November 1,2004 Time never showed up, but I got the November 8th issue yesterday... and of course I've not seen my December F&SF yet. I usually get it within a few days of it's appearance in the newstands.

Should I inquire what the deal is at my PO? Or should I wait another week for the USPS to come through.

When will newstands clear out the December and replace it with the January 2005. If my copy is lost, I'll definitely want to pick it up before they are all sent back.
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Michael Samerdyke
Posted on Saturday, November 06, 2004 - 10:58 am:   

I live in Virginia and I got my issue about two weeks ago. However, my issue of Realms of Fantasy was pretty late, arriving only three days ago.
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Matthew
Posted on Monday, November 08, 2004 - 08:15 pm:   

Here's my view of this issues stories

"Fog" was IMO the stand out story in the issue. Genuinely creepy with interesting characters.

"On Virgin Wings" just didn't click for me.

"Walter and the Wonderful Watch," was while not Morressy's best work, was still amusing

"The Name of the Sphinx" was a great story. Makes me wish I had read the previous stories.

"Christmas in the Catskills" was fairly good. It wasn't quite as involving as "Sphinx" or "Fog", but it was an interesting Christmas horror story.

"The Bad Hamburger" was the second best SF/police procedural with a talking dog in it that I have read. Actually, it is just the second best SF/police procedural with a talking dog in it that I've ever read, but still I enjoyed it a lot.
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JJA
Posted on Tuesday, November 09, 2004 - 06:51 am:   

Just curious -- what's the other SF/police procedural with a talking dog that you read?
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Matthew
Posted on Tuesday, November 09, 2004 - 04:21 pm:   

Just curious -- what's the other SF/police procedural with a talking dog that you read?--



Alan Moore's Top Ten comic series. Though you could argue it "superhero" police procedure and not SF. It was about the police force in a city where everyone has a superpower or is a robot or some gimmick.
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Matt Jarpe
Posted on Tuesday, November 09, 2004 - 05:35 pm:   

Well, it's official. There are no new ideas. I can only hope that our take on "SF/police procedural w/ talking dog" brings something new to the table.

Oh, and Dave, sorry you don't like the whoopee cushions. I'm rather fond of them myself.

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S. Hamm
Posted on Tuesday, November 09, 2004 - 10:31 pm:   

I for one am greatly looking forward to GVG's mammoth end-of-the-year anthology Collared: Best Talking Dog Police Procedurals from the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction 2004, and I think it will be a grave injustice if "Bad Hamburger" doesn't make the cut.
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Michael Samerdyke
Posted on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 08:19 am:   

My favorite story this issue was "Walter and the Wonderful Watch." It wasn't a great story, but everything about it worked. The plot moved along; the humor was funny.

I have to agree with Dave about losing interest in "The Bad Hamburger" when the blonde visitor to the hero lay down on the floor and began licking herself. To use a workshop cliche, that "threw me out of the story" and I never really got back into it.
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Liz B
Posted on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 12:30 am:   

The crotch-licking blonde threw me a bit, but once I got back into the story, I really enjoyed it. Of course, I'm also a computer geek so that aspect appealed to me. (Er, the computer part, not the crotch-licking...)
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okiefolkie
Posted on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 09:21 am:   

I had no interest in reading "The Bad Hamburger" until now. I'm gonna go dig up that story. Cool! ...
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Matt Jarpe
Posted on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 12:12 pm:   

I hope you aren't disapointed, okie.
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okiefolkie
Posted on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 07:22 am:   

Yikes, Matt! I didn't realize you were listening. I look forward to reading the story.
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Matt Jarpe
Posted on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 08:45 am:   

We writers are ALWAYS listening when people are discussing our works. Well, at least the insecure ones with way too much time on our hands. Uh, carry on. Pretend I'm not here.
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okiefolkie
Posted on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 06:43 pm:   

I liked "The Bad Hamburger." Great dialogue ... the interplay between the various characters was as enjoyable to me as the actual mystery and its solving ...A story with personality ...
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Jonathan Andrew
Posted on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 02:35 am:   

okiefolkie on Friday, November 19, 2004:

>Yikes, Matt! I didn't realize you were listening.

Heh-heh-heh.... You may be surprised by who's listening....

I'll more than like post here under my "Internet nickname:" Leviathan.
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okiefolkie
Posted on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 12:23 pm:   

You guys are too cool, Jonathan! ...
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Leviathan
Posted on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 02:52 pm:   

And you, sir, are far too kind.
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Joan Montserrat
Posted on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 10:37 am:   

For those of us who did not win anything in the competition (by the way, congratulatios to those who did win!), is there any chance of getting any feedback here on this board or by e:mail on how (and whether!) the 'twist ending' we supplied was received? Mainly for the sake of curiosity.

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Gordon Van Gelder
Posted on Thursday, November 25, 2004 - 07:07 am:   

Joan M.---

We received almost a hundred entries in the competition. I'm afraid we can't provide individual feedback for them. Sorry.
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John Thiel
Posted on Thursday, November 25, 2004 - 08:10 am:   

Sounds like they all came from the board.
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Joan M.
Posted on Monday, November 29, 2004 - 10:18 am:   

I do understand.

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