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Lucius
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 06:46 am:   

In the future, should anyone want me to bite them, do it here. We don't want to get blood all over everybody else....
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Anonymous Flame Queen
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 09:28 am:   

What an ego! As if your puny bite would draw blood! It would be as a gnat unto a panther. And what makes you think people reading this board would take the time and effort to come over here and flame you?

Oh, wait. I just did, didn't I?

Nevermind.

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Lucius
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 09:42 am:   

Anonymity is, indeed, a wonderful shelter for the weak and inept. Being unattached to any personal baggage, this state would seem to immunize the anonymous from any consequential damage from return fire, esepcially when their "flame" consists of a few rather generically flavored assaults that allow me to perceive of their inscriber only that she is a chickenshit with little to say. To suggest that writers have egos...whoa! That's so harsh...and so desperately uninsightful. Such a glib, facile attempt to wound. Keep talking, AFQ, if that is your name, and your mask will slip sooner or later. Then we'll have fun.
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AFQ
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:06 am:   

Oh, so that's your game...big words. Think you can hide behind your bloated vocabulary and send me scurrying to the dictionary by calling me an "inscriber" and shit like that?

Immunity from return fire is easily had when said fire is of the intensity of a Bic lighter.

A "chickenshit with little to say" is the best you can do, Mr. Flame?

And, by the way, my name actually is Anonymous Flame Queen. My sainted mother, a surrealist of some note, gave me that name and I'll abide no insults to her legacy, especially not from a thesaurus-chewer like yourself.

Bring it on, Roget!



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Lucius
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 10:28 am:   

Oh, I see, the anti-intellectual stance. The salt of the earth brave girl daring the posturing intellectual. Tepid, but better than your last effort. I hardly think "inscriber" is a word that would send anyone over the age of ten scurrying for a dictionary, but perhaps the educational system in Weehauken or Plum Tree, Idaho, or whatever drab oasis comprises the confine of your lfie is not up to snuff. See how this works now? You display for me your various lacks and incapacities, and I, in the spirit of dialoguing, will point them out. Eventually a profile will emerge, likely of a
monumentally frustrated hausfrau who inscribes (that word again!) a whimsical quasi-humorous column concerning the quirks of suburban life for the local shopping rag, one that all the ladies who meet to dish down at Starbucks find hilarious. What fun you must have, to be queen of such a place!
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AFQ
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 04:41 pm:   

Pardon the lapse of time before my response...your last salvo left me so despondent I had to spend several hours talking to the Crisis Hotline before I could be convinced that life was still worth living after I'd been put in my place by a World Famous Author of some repute.

I'm better now.

"Hausfrau"? What's that? French or somthing...we don't get that foreign stuff here in Drab Oasis.

Yes, by all means, point out my lacks and incapacities...I'm all aflutter. Should we talk about what your attacks reveal? I see you needed to reduce me to a type which you apparently believe your legion of fan out there would dismiss as easily as you do -- to wit, the Starbucks-swilling soccer mom. Wrong-o, Mr. Literature, but let me just point out that if that were the case, it's the hand that rocks the cradle...well you doubtless know the saying.

I won't keep you any longer here. You probably have a full evening of sipping brandy and reading Bartlett's Quotations or the Atlantic Monthly or Field and Stream in preparation for your next cocktail party appearance.

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Lucius
Posted on Monday, July 21, 2003 - 05:29 pm:   

I understand your despondency, AFQ, Perhaps your husband has not returned home from the diamond mine insurance company concrete block manufacturing plant where he slays his daily beast and earns enough to keep you in cable TV and marital humdrummery, and so, having no one with whom to share your dream of better lawn furniture, you've turned to buzzing around the Internet where many of your sister sophisticates can be found pretending to be other people.

"Hausfrau" is Hungarian for "useless, aimless, having no fixed purpose."

Actually, this evening I was planning to poison a small animal and watch it die, but now that I've observed your feeble cyber-twitchings, there's no need for that, is there?

The hand that rocks the cradle...?

Eats the bagel? Has a callus on the thumb? Not "rules the world?" Nah. The hand that rules the world rules the world.

Ciao, bella (that's Rumanian for "boring!")
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Des
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 09:20 am:   

"Anonymity is, indeed, a wonderful shelter for the weak and inept."
*********
Forgive me. Not here to flame. So off topic.

And I do agree with the view of anonymity above ... when it is used to hide things that shouldn't be hidden, i.e. to veil and to pique as message-bearers on boards like this etc.
But I do believe in anonymity as a possible key to fresh perspectives in reading and publishing fiction, which is quite another matter.
Des
http://www.nemonymous.com
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 09:39 am:   

Des, this is just a flame practice field..I think.

Thanks for sending the url...

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Des
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 11:32 am:   

I wonder why it's called flaming ... I never came across this use of the word until the Internet arrived.
Is it a coincidence that flame, spam and name all have 'am' within them?
And what is the difference between 'flammable' and 'inflammable'?
Sorry, I'll keep quite now and withdraw from the flaming fields.
Des
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Flame Retard
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:03 pm:   

Flammable: you can light it on fire.
Inflammable: if you light it on fire, it explodes.

:-)
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Jose Feliciano
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:08 pm:   

Light my fire
Light my fire
Light my fire
Light my fire...
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:09 pm:   

Des,

Strange are the ways of Providence.

Anyway, I think we might want to go to the term "flame thrower" as a source. The action of that particular weapon seems analgous to Internet flaming.
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:09 pm:   

I think I know you, Flame Retard.... :-)
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iotar
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:18 pm:   

Always liked the expression "I'll burn light to ya!"

It's a fairly specialised expression.

Sorry to be a wet blanket.
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 12:55 pm:   

Hmm, now I'm confused. Jose, baby...What happened to the career?

Iotar, The Internet is never having to say you're sorry. No wet blankets here.
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Flame Retard
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:04 pm:   

Lucius, I thought that was love. . .?
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:03 pm:   

FR, well, duh! Yeah. Of course.
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Jose
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:22 pm:   

Lucius, what's wrong with my career?
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:30 pm:   

Nada siempre, hombre. Yo lo quiero tu voz!
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Jose
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:40 pm:   

Gracias, hermano...Yo soy tambien uno Babe-magnet, verdad?
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 02:47 pm:   

Sin duda, chico! Pero ahora las chicas son mas viejas, eh?
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Jose
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:24 pm:   

Todos de los gatos estan gris durante la noche, eh?

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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:43 pm:   

Si, pues....

Que le vaya bien, Jose...
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Jose
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 03:46 pm:   

Adios, Lucius!
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Ellen
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 04:39 pm:   

Lucius,
Where the heck are you? I emailed you about editing queries last night and haven't heard back from you!!!

If you didn't get my email I"ll resend it.
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 04:54 pm:   

Ellen, I got no email. Where'd you send it?
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Ellen
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 05:49 pm:   

Nuts, I sent it to you at yahoo. Just resent to your regular email address.
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Flame Retard
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 06:20 pm:   

I resent your regular email address, too. Because it sucks.
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 07:34 pm:   

Wow, FR. a little retarded flame! Nice!
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GabrielM
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 08:22 pm:   

>>Todos de los gatos estan gris durante la noche, eh?

De noche todos los gatos son pardos....
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 08:29 pm:   

Well, obviously Spanish is Jose's second language. :-)
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Des
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 08:51 am:   

No confusion or misappropriated intentions if you simply remain anonymous. Flaming is pointless, because it is simply the expression of someone or someone else but always someone in temporary self-stigmatism. Even some people with names don't seem to have consistency - depends on mood and their daily personality. Anonymous is just another mood. Flaming is dead in the water.
Serious point -- even with names attached here, there's no checking of their validity or their current shade of selfhood ... or drunk or sober ... this is a Tower of Babel, but a very constructive one, usually ... where threads can be woven into Jungian meaning.
I did Spanish to 'A' Level at school (in 1966 when I was 18). Soy tonto.
So, really, I'm flaming at flaming, by being very polite in my criticism of it.
Des
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Anonymous Flame Queen
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 09:15 am:   

Wow, Des, you're absolutely right. For example, my Wednesday Personality is filled with Love and Forgiveness for all mankind and wouldn't Flame a fly.

Jungian meaning. Yeah, right on!

But, I gotta warn you -- my Thursday Personality is a Biker Bitch from Hell with a flame thrower for a keyboard. You might all want to stay away from her.

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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 10:47 am:   

That's all too complex for me, Des. I 'm not what you'd call an intellectual. I just do what my mood--as you suggest--suggests. Flaming is dead? Depends on how you look at it. I was once employed as a professional flame thrower by a major corporation to stir up trouble and run certain people out of chat rooms. I guess they thought this had entertainment value. What they may have had in mind...beats me. I was happy with the 500 bucks a week. After awhile it began to feel karmically impure. So I quit. But I still dabble. Sort of like someone who used to fence. I never take it seriously. It's playful, done for fun, like 99 percent of the bullshit on the board.

Of course you're right about who knows what condition a Vandermeer or a Ford or a Shepard or a Des et al may be in. I tend to imagine everyone sitting at home wearing a pointy hat and playing with one of those cup-and-ball toys. That helps clear away any confusion.

I had a dust-up with Jeff V the other day, based on -- I believe--his misapprehension of something I said. He told me to bite him and, as is my nature, when accused of assholic behavior, I came back at him. No biggie. In that post, however, I said that the board wasn't a Parthenon. In part, I was wrong. It is a Parthenon...or maybe an Acropolis would be a better analogue. But most of the exchanges on this Acropolean hill aren't based, as were the originals, on consequential relationships. So rarely does anyone really understand what he other is talking about, except in some fairly generic fashion. Even the most coherent discussions hereon have the cast of faulty transmissions, partially received messages, like listening to a short wave radio during a storm. Lots of buzz and crackle that stems from what I call AOPD (Attempted Online Personality Disorder). And there's an air, too, of the cut-up (Byron Gisin style) conversation. So when you use the term "constructive threads," I'm not really sure how you mean it or in what sense they could be constructive, other than as interesting static charged with fragments of ideas.

The New Weird discussion, for instance. So occasionally fervent and yet so utterly irrational, at least in terms of anything that rises above my "Don't Worry About It" level. If I were to enter into this dialogue, which I would not, having not the slightest comprehension of
anyone's motives, whimseys, passions, I would likely side with Jason who offered commercial homily by saying, "Labels are your friend." It seems not a waste of time -- what else is time for?--but a perverse use of it. But then I assume certain of my usages seem to others perverse and il-considered.

So, in my view, flaming isn't dead. It's rather a dying art that never had a golden age. And at the core of that art, when practised carefully, dispassionately, is an interesting conceptual tool that can help one with writing.

Anyway, leaving this unfinished, back to work.
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 10:48 am:   

AfQ,

Talk to you Thursday... :-)
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iotar
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 11:11 am:   

>>Iotar, The Internet is never having to say you're sorry. No wet blankets here.

Well, please accept my sincerest apologies.
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 11:29 am:   

Iotar,

Well, if that's the case, certainly.

No apology goes unaccepted in the Age of Fabulous Ironies.
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Des
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 09:12 am:   

Thursday, FAQ? Bring it on.
Des
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Lucius
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 09:29 am:   

Des, I thought you were a man of peace?

:-)
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AFQ
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:08 am:   

What, Des? You expect me hop on out here and start flaming just for your amusement you limp Rod-McKuen-reading, Yanni-listening Man of Peace? Sure, I bet all you over-educated literatis would get downright sloppy if you had a chance to retire to the coffee house with tales of how you were abused by some illiterate bitch on your hallowed discussion board.

Well, sorry, Bub, today's entertainment is not on me.

Bugger off and go back to reading Adjective Quarterly.


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Des
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 10:55 am:   

Flaming, like brainstorming, (as Lucius may also attest), can be inspirationally productive by ricochet or mis-intention. For example, I think 'Adjective Quarterly' is a wonderful new concept-title for a journal. You're flaming bright, FAQ.
No embers, Des

"Our slightest desire, though unique as a chord, nevertheless includes the fundamental notes on which the whole of our life is built."
Marcel Proust
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AFQ's Assistant
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:04 am:   

"Everything is everything else."
Jimi Hendrix
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AFQ
Posted on Thursday, July 24, 2003 - 11:06 pm:   

Well, I'm certainly glad you bastards kept quiet today so I didn't have to roast anybody's mutton.

As Thursday draws to a close, as we approach midnight, the hour of strange guidance, I feel my evil Thursday personality softening, slipping into the rosy glow of my Friday personality: Your Neighborhood Mary Kay Saleslady (and you'll note I don't say SalesPERSON because representing the Mary Kay Cosmetic Line has made me even more proud to be a LADY than I was when I was a Tupperware Lady.)

I'll catch you boys tomorrow...

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Andrea Dworkin's Secretary
Posted on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 06:33 am:   

Hey, AFQ, would you mind dropping by AD's place today? She's totally out of that wonderful Peach Flush Foundation cream and was hopng you might be able to do her colors.
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AFQ
Posted on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 08:17 am:   

Oh, that AD is such a card! I remember the last time you two little stinkers lured me over like that. You said she needed a new tube of Kiss Me Unconscious Lipstick and then when I got there you emptied that bucket of sow blood over my head and called me a Gender Traitor, if I recall the incident correctly, and after all the therapy, I'm pretty sure I do.

Tell you what -- why don't you just put in a little call to the home office and let them set you up.

Kiss-kiss,

AFQ
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AD's Secretary
Posted on Friday, July 25, 2003 - 08:25 am:   

AFQ, what you thought was sow blood was in actuallity Magoola Oil intended to tenderize you for AD's playpen. She really respects you. Please come...

Pretty please!

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