Sound of Thunder Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Register | Edit Profile

HOME | CATALOG | DOWNLOADS | LINKS | EDITORIALS | DISCUSSION | CONTACT

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | User List | Help/Instructions | Log Out | Edit Profile | Register
Night Shade Message Boards » Shepard, Lucius » Sound of Thunder « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Bob K.
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 11:30 pm:   

http://www.electricstory.com/reviews/review.aspx?title=new/soundofthunder
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 06:23 am:   

Nice! But Lucius, you make me want to take that bus ride to hell to see this flick!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 07:18 am:   

You're always a sucker for thise busses from hell. :-)

Pray it's gone from your theater.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 09:00 am:   

I'm gonna look for it! Ed Burns, yeah!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 09:06 am:   

The Last Dinosaur is much better.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 10:49 am:   

I almost feel sorry for this movie now. It's like watching a heavyweight champ beat up a crippled toddler.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Robert
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 11:05 am:   

I just feel sorry for people that actually watched the movie.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 11:11 am:   

Thank God, there weren't that many.

Marc, if you'd seen it, you'd been pulling for the champ.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 10:08 pm:   

They just don't make bad movies like they used too...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 08:20 am:   

IMHO, the mid-80s to early-90s were the golden age of badfilm...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 08:31 am:   

When was the Shawshank Redemption made?

There's always been bad movies. The 60s and 70s produced scads of them. And the 50s...off the charts. THe trouble is, now bad movies have 80 million dollar budgets and the difference between a "good" movie and a bad movie has drastically narrowed.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 08:43 am:   

And back in the day, bad movies didn't try to masquerade as good movies. FOOTLOOSE was a happy film that didn't mind being bad; MOULIN ROUGE was an unspeakable mess that campaigned its way to Oscars.

Shawshank was 94, just a year prior to Showgirls.

Now that I think about it, the era of the truly great bad movies ended with MOULIN ROUGE's various awards triumphs in '01. It officially marked the complete erasure of the bad/good line in movies. Discuss.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 09:18 am:   

Well, I think it happened before then. Look at the last bunch of Oscar winners :

The English Patient, Forrest Gump, Shakespeare in Love, Braveheart, American Beauty, A Beautiful Mind, Chicago, Return of the King, Million Dollar Baby...You could make the case that those pictures all suck. How about Dances WIth Wolves? Abysmal movie. Back in the 50s. Around the World in 80 Days is a piece of crap. I think that Dances With Wolves is a real hallmark film -- it marks something of a change, but you can't look to the Oscar winners for your cues. To my mind, Diehard signalled the death of the movies --- it took the formula of the James Bond films and Americanized it -- that formula pervaded the industry and brought about the predominance of the hack writer.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 10:13 am:   

Yeah, that's a good observation. James Bond - sex - savoir faire + big guns + blood = Die Hard. An American Bond.

Yeah, I suppose I didn't really believe my thesis. Just throwing around concepts. But for my $, there has never been a worse feature film than MOULIN ROUGE. I defy anyone to come up with one!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 10:32 am:   

Swordfish
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Robert
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 10:42 am:   

Worse than Moulin Rouge: League of Extraordinary Gentleman. That became my measure for stupid movies, and I haven't seen any "major" films worse. For minor films, Santa With Muscles is by far the worst I've ever seen.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 11:32 am:   

Worthy choices, but I assert that MR stinks it up with the best of them. And its aura of critical favor only adds to the aroma.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 11:40 am:   

Well, how about Million Dollar Baby for critical acclaim. There wasn't one authentic moment in that entire picture. And it won everything.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minz
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 11:50 am:   

Well, in truth, it really all began with Jaws. Don't get me wrong, I think Jaws was a good film, a benchmark film in a number of ways. Unfortunately, the most important benchmark was a bad one, that has led to the current mess. It created the summer blockbuster phenomenon, of which so much hollywood drivel is now derived. First, efforts to create more summer blockbusters. Then the fighting for the right summer release dates, and now, fighting for release dates around the calendar year, with big movies announcing dates long before they are finished filming, so as to mark their territory, actual quality be damned. And Jaws is the most obvious event that began this mess, the first step on to the slippery slope.

Don't get me wrong; there's plenty of excretal little subsets of craposity (e.g. how remakes have helped lower the bar), but Jaws is the big one. And it was a good film, as often is the case in our crass commercial society where any success is dissected, mimiced and eventually made into a painful horrid parody of itself. Now I hope you'll excuse me while I go read yet another big fat fantasy, one that's not even trying to copy Tolkien, nor Terry Brooks, but rather some rpg game. *sigh*
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 12:32 pm:   

Minz has a point, but I don't think the trend was set in stone until diehard
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:03 pm:   

Jaws was on TCM last night...I couldn't stop watching it! It's still a great popcorn flick.

I defy anyone to sit through Ewan McGregor's love ballad medley in MR!!! Can't be done!

Didn't see Million Dollar Baby. The reviews warned me away...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:19 pm:   

I love Moulin Rouge and I've got a posse.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:19 pm:   

Delete! Delete!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:55 pm:   

:-)

What I don't understand, Dave, is why you went to see it in the first place?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

StephenB
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:56 pm:   

I stoped watching, about half way in..
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 03:42 pm:   

This is the best musical of the last few years (since, I'd say, The South Park movie):

http://www.silencethemusical.com/

For some time this was available on the web as a full set of mp3s. They took down all but a few samples. Amazingly, it looks as if someone has actually mounted a full production. It's brilliant.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 03:44 pm:   

Lucius, if you look into the section for Robocop the Musical, you will find a hard-hitting number called "Morgan Freeman Narration."

"What is that sound? A familiar voice. You might want someone else but you don't have a choice..."

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 04:01 pm:   

That's awesome, Marc. I love it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 05:47 pm:   

Someone invited me to a sneak preview for free. It was not worth it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 05:50 pm:   

Oh, OK!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Alex
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 05:13 am:   

I love The Last Dinosaur. Remember watching it at my grandmother's house when I was a little kid.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 07:09 am:   

A truly great film. It made me a writer....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 07:23 am:   

I kind of liked Richard Boone as Hec Ramsey, the grizzled Old West gunfighter who used 19th century science to trap criminals. It was CSI before there was CSI...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 07:40 am:   

Hec Ramsey's a long walk from Masden Thrust. :-)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 08:40 am:   

In the pantheon of fictional hero names, that one is right up there.

There is a sports reporter for the Washington Post whose name is "Matt Bonesteel" and, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to write an action script with him as my hero. Maybe that will be my Seagal movie I'm going to write.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 09:05 am:   

Did you see Seagall down in NO traveling with a swat team? There's your movie.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 09:23 am:   

Is Seagal's Cajun accent as good as his Brooklyn? But wouldn't I have to call him "Matt Beaunesteel?"

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 09:32 am:   

Whatever....I think in this movie he'd play himself. Steve flies down to NO to scope it out and gets involved with darkness on the streets in some form....

Be a nice metafictional turn. Have the villain be Bonesteel if you must.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 12:04 pm:   

If it's going to be metafictional, Charlie Kauffman would have to write it. I'm still working my way up to "fictional"...

When you stop and think about it, the New Orleans flood would make an incredible backdrop for an action film...exotic locations, natural disasters, people caught in extreme circumstances, daring rescues, marauding bands of thugs, armed military, human drama...

The only problem is...where would you film it? You need to recreate N.O. on a backlot somewhere, since there's nowhere like it. Lucius, could you film a convincing flood drama w/o breaking the bank?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 12:30 pm:   

CGI....
Yeah, I'm doing a story set in the hurrricane, and I do it mostly in interiors....

You could do it fairly cheap
There was a flood story with Morgan Freeman amd Christian Slater which didn't cost that much.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 01:31 pm:   

"For some people, it'll always be The Year of the Flood. But for me, I think of it as the Year I Met The Kid." - Morgan Freeman
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 02:19 pm:   

:-)

Is that a real quote from Hard Rain?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 05:43 pm:   

"For some, the Night Shade board was a place where lonely people came together to share a fragile bond. A knowingness. A way of being. For me, it was the place where I made up quotes by Morgan Freeman." - Morgan Freeman
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 05:49 pm:   

Thought so.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minz
Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 06:33 pm:   

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but Marc, you really seem to have a knack for capturing the Freeman voiceover. A terrible and terrifying power...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 06:49 pm:   

So absent from the football thread, so concerned about the BADgers...:-)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 06:45 am:   

And we could have Seagal make a specially daring effort to rescue an elderly Fats Domino-type from a rooftop because he used to cut class and listen to him play in French Quarter bistros.

Am I the only one who's hearing the chinging of cash registers here?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 07:08 am:   

You're all alone, Dave. Seagall's strictly straight to video.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 07:17 am:   

Haven't you folks heard of a comeback? All he needs is a vehicle. Speaking of direct to video, picked up SUBMERGED and INTO THE SUN Saturday. I smell double feature!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Robert
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 07:38 am:   

If you team Segal up with a rapper, the movie could get theatrical release and do well (Exit Wounds did decently).
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 07:45 am:   

I think even rappers are shying away from Seagall now.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 08:25 am:   

BTW, Submerged is the worst Steven Seagall movie ever. Absolutely unwatchable. About ten seconds of martial arts. Starts with toy plane that's supposed to be super stealth plane and then descends from there. It's not even good "bad."
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 08:33 am:   

I can't wait.

I'm thinking team Seagal up with someone like Rihanna, who can play a Red Cross nurse searching for her son that was swept away in the flood.

Chills. I'm getting chills.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 08:45 am:   

I can't save you, I guess.

But Into the sun has some good stuff.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Night Shade Books
Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 10:27 pm:   

Seagal and LL Cool J. Don't call it a comeback...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Sunday, September 25, 2005 - 03:56 am:   

Seagal and LL Cool J? That's not Into the sun....

BTW, Seagal has a peachy CD called Songs From the Crystal Cave,,,

Dave? :-)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Sunday, September 25, 2005 - 08:20 pm:   

Seagal, Luke Perry, and Don Johnson in "Absolutely Nothing to Lose".

Mark Walhberg is the estranged brother who's turned to a life of crime.

Gossett, Jr. joins the crowd as Steve, Luke's, and Don's dad.

Oh brother...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Sunday, September 25, 2005 - 08:35 pm:   

Seagal is imagined to have said, "On the set, people frequently doubt my abilities. Sure in the movies I break a lot of bones and kill people but it's for a higher good. Because it's just "a movie" people somehow don't realize just how capable I am of crippling them if I only wanted to do so."
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Sunday, September 25, 2005 - 09:11 pm:   

That's what makes him such a rock star.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Monday, September 26, 2005 - 08:38 am:   

I have heard snippets of Seagal's album on the web. Funny thing is...download a clip and it will keep playing after you've closed out of it. Very spooky. Must be some Dalai Lama Tibetan shit. They held a "Salute to the Blues" about 7 or 8 years ago here at the Kennedy Center and, in the first ads for it, Seagal was supposed to host. But they dropped him from the bill before we could run out and buy tix. A Seagal music tour...how freakin' great would that be?

Nothing To Lose would be a great Seagal movie title...has to be kinda badass sounding, with three words. I would call my Seagal N.O. film LEFT FOR DEAD. That's badass.

Seagal is one of those guys like John Wayne, whose physical decline only adds a touch of pathos to his persona. I mean, the shoe polish he wears on his hairline in OUT OF REACH...absolutely priceless.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Monday, September 26, 2005 - 04:45 pm:   

That's what makes him such a rock star. --Lucius

Here in the midst of a flock of Seagalls...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Monday, September 26, 2005 - 04:56 pm:   

I like Left for Dead but Seagal keeps coming back with more.

So, Dave do you love fat Elvis too?

The thing with the Duke was that love it or leave it he had a presence. He could stand around on camera for a few minutes and be compelling. Who cares how many folk he put down?

Now Seagal (and it's true for so much of the action genre) creates an expectation, a demand for something new and spectacular. As one gets older obviously it becomes more difficult to maintain and with the added demands of doing even more extreme action...oh yeah that would be the stunt team. Well the stunt team is gettin' older too!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, September 26, 2005 - 06:59 pm:   

Actually, i like Seagal better than Wayne. Seagal's performances have never been tarnished by the myth of competency.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

StephenB
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 03:27 am:   

Yeah, but Lucius, it's not like his movies are {that} good. Wayne's been in some decent movies in his time.

but Dave, what do you think?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 06:29 am:   

I have never had much of an opinion about Wayne one way or the other, although I liked THE SHOOTIST. As far as his other work goes, my favorite Wayne was his guest shot on I LOVE LUCY.

One aspect of Seagal that people overlook is that he always throws some odd curveball into every character, whether it was the snakeskin jacket in THE GLIMMER MAN, the country geetar pickin' in THE FIRE DOWN BELOW, Casey Ryback's obsession with his pies in the oven. There was always some oddball humor in there. His heroes were never just stoic ass kickers. When Jason Statham tells the bad guys not to wrinkle his jacket in TRANSPORTER 2, to me, that's a direct homage to Seagal. Mostly, I think he's a guy who doesn't mind going over the top and injecting silly elements into the genre, unlike Wayne, whose films were plagued by notions of "quality" and were mostly done by the book. I can't believe Seagal wasn't laughing at himself a little bit.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 07:37 am:   

Which movies would those be, Stephen? I must not have seen them.

I think what you take for Seagal "laughing at himself" is really his notion of how to establish character, which is a typical hack notion - give 'em a quirk. It's a common hack tactic. Instead of a personality, I'll give him a skin condition, a tic, a quirk...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 11:04 am:   

Hey, I never said he was GOOD at it...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

StephenB
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 02:36 pm:   

Good point, Lucius.:-) I haven't really seen many of Wayne's westerns, but The Searchers comes to mind as a good one, for its time.

But why compare the two anyway? One's primarily a martial artist actor. The other, primarily a type cast, hollywood western, tough guy actor. Niether of them are great actors, but I'd say Wayne's more the actor, of the two.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 02:50 pm:   

I wasn't the one who compared them.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

PM
Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 06:22 pm:   

Well I'd never claim that Seagal is a quick draw...but today's mainstream movies are certainly putting a sweeter shine on yesteryear's work.

Wayne was a bit more dramatically talented than say Norris or Van Damme. I won't compare Wayne to Seagal (gotta let Lucius juddle).

Perhaps if the mainstream had juddled with Seagal it would have been a turnoff for Lucius?

Or if Wayne had been a bit more Hitchcockian...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 06:15 am:   

I do like the fact that Wayne got his first part by being one of the USC football boytoys who serviced one of the old-time faded starlets, though.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Robert
Posted on Monday, October 10, 2005 - 07:38 am:   

Wow, here's something I never knew existed:

http://www.xoxide.com/lightning-bolt-asian-experiance.html

"100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, October 10, 2005 - 08:32 am:   

I'm gettin' me some! :-)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gordon Van Gelder
Posted on Monday, October 10, 2005 - 12:43 pm:   

Does it list the contents anywhere? I'd worry that, y'know, maybe Seagal adopted Sarah Miles's favorite health technique:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0963209159/002-3060751-2353611?v=g lance
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Monday, October 10, 2005 - 01:06 pm:   

People who bought the book that documents Sara's favorite therapy also bought:



Rough Weather Ahead for Walter the Farting Dog (Walter the Farting Dog) by William Kotzwinkle

Dungeons & Dragons For Dummies by Bill Slavicsek

How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art by Kathleen Meyer


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 09:13 am:   

Best quote ever on Amazon: "Nothing beats a nice cup of your own urine."

Not for me! Personally, I think nothing goes down as smooth and easy and flavorful as a delicious can of Seagal's Lighting Bolt! I think we should have a contest to come up with a slogan...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 09:30 am:   

I don't have time today, but I'll be thinking of a slogan.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 10:47 am:   

"Lightning Bolt, even better than a cup of your own urine!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gordon Van Gelder
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:23 am:   

Don't get pissed! Get hit by lightning instead!

Lightning Bolt

"100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

MarcL
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:32 am:   

"Rock out with your cup out!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:47 am:   

"Don't let your karma run out of gas..."

"It's bodhi-licious..."

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Robert
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 12:28 pm:   

"It will quench your Hard to Kill thirst"

I'd just be worried it could cause a fire down below.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 12:51 pm:   

"Unleash the inscrutable fat white asshole in you..."
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 01:08 pm:   

"The drink for everyone, from wise men to wiseguys..."

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 02:28 pm:   

[A C, a bouncy C...]

If you wanna be a dharma
Then gas up your karma
With Seagal's Light-ning Bolt!....
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 03:14 pm:   

Dharma is a condition, not a thing.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 05:03 pm:   

Lucius, leave it to you to screw up a good jingle.

To experience dharma,
Just gas up your kar-ma
With Seagal's Light-ning Bolt!

Don't wait up for Yama
Get moving and slam a
Can of Seagal's Lightning Bolt!

For every sramanera and sravaka
Your buds are chilling out and knocking back a
Can or a case
It'll put a smile on your face
It's Seagal's Lightning Bolt!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 05:27 pm:   

You're on your own Dave. I'm satisfied with my entry...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Dave G.
Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 06:31 am:   

...and a fine one it is, too.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 08:29 am:   

I notice that Seagal has a part in the upcoming movie as "Cock Puncher."

Maybe that can be worked into the avertising.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 08:31 am:   

The upcoming Onion movie, that is...

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action:

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | User List | Help/Instructions | Log Out | Edit Profile | Register