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Bob K.
Posted on Monday, July 19, 2004 - 08:18 pm:   

Eschewing his usual critical framework, Mr. Shepard offers this loving ladle of chicken soup for the Hollywood moviegoer's soul:

http://www.electricstory.com/reviews/riddick.asp
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MarcL
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 12:45 pm:   

Hilarious! Nice to see some appreciation of Twohy's decent earlier films; too bad about this one. Sounds like he was wanting to make THE STARS MY DESTINATION by couldn't get the rights, so he just made up his own mess.
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Alex
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 12:46 pm:   

Lucius has discovered the secret to movie-reviewing happiness. Soon reviewers everywhere will be blissfully glossing over obvious violations of continuity, common sense, and basic aesthetics...

Oh.
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:00 pm:   

Hey, Fellas....I;ve got a wasting disease,but am here.

Oh, indeed, Alex...
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MarcL
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:36 pm:   

This board is a wasting disease.
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John Klima
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:39 pm:   

I laughed out loud at "For instance, when one of the Necromongers says, “Take him back to the ship for mind regression,” I (a) thought that the comment might have been directed toward me"

Fucking brilliant man. A simpler version of this technique is to watch the movies late at night with the sound off. Then you can postulate your own meanings to what's happening and just watch the pretty explosions.

JK
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Jeff VanderMeer
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:42 pm:   

Sounds to me, Marc, like you need your own message board. :-) Email me.

JeffV
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MarcL
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:42 pm:   

I also got to read your bit about Mystic River. Dead on. The capsule summary of Laura Linney's character arc (can two unrelated points form an arc?) is so perfect. Comparing Tim Robbins' performance to a Lincoln penny is a slur against all pennies, featuring dead presidents or otherwise.

Among Eastwood movies, WHITE HUNTER BLACK HEART has a fantastic script, but there is almost no way to appreciate it given Eastwood's most unintentionally hilarious performance. And A PERFECT WORLD was a tight little film; the best movie ever made with Kevin Costner in it.
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MarcL
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 01:44 pm:   

Jeff:

...must...resist...must...gaak...freakin serpents...
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John Klima
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 06:24 pm:   

JeffV:

Don't wait for Marc to reply, just give him one. Then we'll start posting on it, and he'll start replying, and the evil continues.

JK
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Lucius
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 08:07 pm:   

Jk,

There were so much pulpy dialogue, it was a crime to use just one -- but I;m glad it made you laugh. Now Riddicks dialogue...that was really funny. Furyan warror speak.
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Andrew Fuller
Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 11:54 pm:   

Damn. I was extremely wary, but I had such struggling hope. Since Pitch Black has been one of my surprise favorites as a little B-type flick. And since I'd heard Vin say a few times he was adamant about not continuing xXx and Fast Furious characters, in favor of pursuing Riddick. Anything worth checking out? Or should I rent The Arrival, pull out Pitch Black, and read Stars My Destination?
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 05:52 am:   

The Crenatoria segment...but dont expect it to make sense...
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Kathy S.
Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 07:56 am:   

Lucius --
I stayed up half the night reading your reviews. I normally catch the ones in F&SF, but this site... simply amazing. Loved the Harry Potter one -- you're absolutely right, people actually believe that children have this magical extra-sense of what's good and what's bad. Far as the reverse relationship between budget and quality, I think it applies to more than just movies. From my experience with local government I can say that the offices with least funds are usually the most effective.

Anyway, awesome reviews. Even though I disagree with you on 21 grams.
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 09:35 am:   

Kathy,

Sick, Can't talk. But hey, if you only diagree with me on one movie, then...hey, its okay. :-)
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John Klima
Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 07:30 pm:   

Pulpy dialogue is tough (see: STREETS OF FIRE). With my 'late-night-with-the-sound-off-so-you-don't-wake-the-missus' technique, I was able to enjoy RESIDENT EVIL and GHOSTS OF MARS. Both of which are unwatchable if you have to hear what the people are saying.

Of course the reverse is true, I tried watching SWIMMING POOL with the sound off, and it was not good. So I TiVo'd it to watch later.

JK
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 09:25 pm:   

"They didn;t know to leave bad enough alone."
"Sister, they don't know what to do with one of me."
Vin Deisel
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neil a
Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 06:00 am:   

This is the bit that made me laugh:

"Well, if not for the puissant wisdom of Multiplexity, I might have been unwarrantedly dismissive when our hero and heroine manage to avoid cremation by hiding behind a rock. Newly confident in the movie’s genius, however, I assumed this to be no ordinary rock, but one that emitted cool rays."

PS. Lucius:

Belated praise from me for The Park Sweeper in TTA, and seriously belated kudos to you for The Golden
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Lucius
Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 06:26 am:   

Thanks, Neal.
'
'Hey, what's so funny about the rock emitting cool rays?
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neil a
Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 07:23 am:   

Obviously I am showing myself up by not having read Multiplexity yet.
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Lucius
Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 07:54 am:   

Right-o! Get with the program!
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T Andrews
Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 11:01 am:   

Ghosts of Mars was terribly funny. Spouse and I talked over the silly dialogue. I kept busy counting continuity screw-ups. Like the piece of hair from the blonde model/actor chick (forget her name at the moment) that would be pinned back in one frame, hanging loose in the next, pinned again, loose again. That would suggest the scenes took many takes. To think they picked the best ones makes me shudder.

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Dawn B.
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2004 - 02:06 pm:   

I just read this in Dec. F&SF [note the broken link] and died laughing reading it. Spot on and funnier the movie itself. Your review almost makes the time & money I spent on the movie worth it.
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Lucius
Posted on Wednesday, December 08, 2004 - 02:35 pm:   

Thanks, Dawn. Hopefully Diesel and company won't do it again.

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