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Night Shade Message Boards » Bishop, K.J. » Congratulations! « Previous Next »

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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 11:23 am:   

Congratulations!!!!!!!

JeffV
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 11:56 am:   

Methinks this needs further clarification.

JK
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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 12:03 pm:   

It's only fair to let KJB clarify--when she wakes up. It's 5 in the morning where she is...

Let's just say she's gotten exactly what she deserved.

JeffV
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 03:15 pm:   

Actually, KJ woke just before five, and instead of feeling the urge to go right back to sleep, she felt unaccountably energetic.
'Go to the computer,' said a voice in her head. Then it said, 'Ok, get your coffee, then go to the computer.'
And on the computer there was... good news...
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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 03:20 pm:   

...and it's Mrs. Bishop's perogative to withhold information, too. Sorry if I jumped the gun! :-(

Jeffv
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 03:31 pm:   

Nah, Jeff, I'm just being shy... scrub that blue face!
Well, I won't be shy - Macmillan UK have picked up The Etched City, which of course I'm incredibly excited about!
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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 03:52 pm:   

Okay--then officially congrats again!!!!!!

JeffV
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RFW
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 04:10 pm:   

Are you going to be writing 10 new chapters, like Jeff does when another publisher picks up one of his books?

Congrats! I actually just got my copy last week.

Robert
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 05:11 pm:   

Thank you, Robert! I hope you enjoy the book.

The 'J' in my name stands for 'just plain lazy'... I shall leave the marvellous feats of book-expanding to Mr VanderMeer :-)
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JeffV
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 05:50 pm:   

I can expand other people's books, too. Just last week I expanded Candide by 20 pages. I then expanded The Prince by 200 pages. And for my last expansion, just a few minutes ago, I expanded Animal Farm by three goats and a chicken.
JEffV
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Steve Taylor
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 07:31 pm:   

Congrats on the sale!!!
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 10:41 pm:   

Yes, congratulations! Jeff just told me the good news!

Cheers,
Luís
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Jay C
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 01:50 am:   

Very nice. Very nice indeed.
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Robert Devereux
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 05:52 am:   

Congratulations.

I just got the Etched City and hope to get a bit of it read this weekend.

-Robert
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John Klima
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 06:40 am:   

That's awesome! Congratulations!

JK
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Des Lewis
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 09:04 am:   

Many Congratulations. When that comes out in UK, I'll be able to buy it. Or can I buy it now from USA? I don't like buying off the internet.
Des
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Liz Williams
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 10:19 am:   

Huge congratulations, KJ - I got the news from the horse's mouth last night. You will enjoy working with Peter and the team!
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PeterW (not of
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 01:04 pm:   

Yeah, congrats KJ! Haven't read EC yet but I have a copy in the reading queue, and it just moved up a few slots....
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 05:17 pm:   

Wow! Thank you very much, everybody! I feel slightly overwhelmed
I don't think it's actually going to sink in until I sign on the dotted line.

Des - if you're in the UK, I think you can order the US edition through bookstores. The distributor is Ingram. It might be a bit pricey, though, if your government slugs taxes on imported books like ours does.



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ben peek
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 08:40 pm:   

hey congrats there madam bishop. i hope it keeps the same nifty cover, too.
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 10:59 pm:   

Hey, I've moved from Mrs to madam! (One step closer to my ultimate goal of being Supreme Ayatollah...)

Thanks, Mr Peek. Or should that be Sir Ben? No more of these crappy middle-class titles, for heaven's sake - bring on the deluxe honorifics! I don't know about the cover - I think they'll probably want a different one. It would be cool to see what another artist does. I know who I want, but I don't know if it'll be possible. We'll see...
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Empress-of-all-she-surveysWilliams
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 12:10 am:   

I think we should make you Dame Bishop but perhaps you are a little young and sprightly to be a Dame.

O/wise: Countess, Lady, Duchess, Erl-Queen, Chatelaine...

How about 'Bishop Bishop'?

Liz



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KJ Bishop
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 10:55 am:   

Empress Williams,

Yes, the day I am old enough to be a Dame, I shall embark on my old-age plan of sitting on a doorstep with a scarf around my head, smoking a pipe and intermittently cackling through whatever teeth remain to me. And they probably wouldn't let that sort of person be a Dame.

Bishop Bishop tempts me, though the ecumenism of Ayatollah Bishop still appeals. Patriarch Bishop also has a certain je ne sais quois.
Otherwise, I could live with 'Great Sage, Equal of Heaven'.

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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 03:19 pm:   

Your Holiness Ayatollah Bishop,

I'm curious: who would you choose to paint an Etched City cover for you?

Best,
Luís
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 05:11 pm:   

Dom Luis,

Well, if I could have anyone at all, Yoshitaka Amano:

http://goingreen.tripod.com/amano/gallery.html

I don't know what he would charge, though. Probably way, way too much.
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ben peek
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 08:34 pm:   

el president bishop,

death to infidels.

yoshitaka does nice stuff indeed, and i wish you the best. perhaps if you stress your dictatorship like role?
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Trent Jamieson
Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 09:48 pm:   

Wow! That's great news, Kirsten. It had to happen though, it's a bloody wonderful piece of work.

Trent
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Liz Williams
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 01:36 am:   

You sound eminently suited for Dame-hood.

But World Dictator is also good. Perhaps you could become our Evil Overlord??
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JeffV
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 07:52 am:   

That would be acceptable.

Lord Frog, Ruler of Amphibia
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 01:08 pm:   

Dame Hood - Ma Baker's English cousin?

Much as I think I'd be a damn good evil overlord, I'm afraid I'm too short. The minimum height for the job is 5'4", and I'm only 5'1". The people at Evil Inc. tell me that the highest rank to which I could be promoted is Evil Middle Management Minion Second Class.
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 03:27 pm:   

Generalissima Bishop,

Surely you'd be an evil overLADY, right? And by the way, there is no minimal height requirement for being an overlord. Simply consider the number of evil overlords who are short, ugly and/or were bullied at school. Sauron was actually 4'8", cross-eyed, and had a hairy mole on the tip of his nose. That's why he never appears in the books.

Best,
Luís
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Liz Williams
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 04:46 pm:   

Can't you stand on a box??

Liz
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ben peek
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 04:59 pm:   

you could have stilts.
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Sunday, May 18, 2003 - 08:52 pm:   

Ok, overlords can be short, but overladies absolutely can't. All overladies are at least 5'10". Anyway, they said I could be an Evil Overlady if I relinquish my lime green Tare Panda shorts, and either wear stilts or stand on a box, which would be propelled by a remote control unit in my hand, and concealed by a long black robe.
While I would be willing to give up the shorts, I'm afraid the whole box/stilts/robe thing would all end in tears.

I think I'm going to settle for just being a Very Naughty Girl, like my mother always said I was. I won't get any minions, but I'll get to keep my shorts, and that's important to me.
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Nicholas Liu
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 01:06 am:   

What a ridiculous demand! No Evil Overlady should be without a pair of Tare Panda shorts.
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ben peek
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 04:16 am:   

well... you know, depending on what kind of very naughty girl you're planning on being, you can have minions.

i believe they even enjoy the whipping.
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John Klima
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 06:04 am:   

KJ:

I'm 6' 2", I could always be a peon and carry you around on my shoulders if you'd like. (although that might be hard to explain to my wife...)

JK
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Forrest
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 11:44 am:   

Oh Munificent Kaiser Kirsten:

With all the deference we're paying, perhaps you should just enslave us as your mendicant minions and force us to carry you around in a hammock and feed you grapes. Maybe a gold and silk, jewel-encrusted rickshaw is in order? Hearty congratulations!

Forrest
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 02:38 pm:   

Nicholas: I tried to tell them that Tare Panda shorts are Very Evil Indeed, Tare Panda being of course patron beast of the sin of sloth. And it is a very evil shade of green. But the evil people, being evil, spat upon my well-reasoned arguments.

Ben: The minions might enjoy it, but what about me? Whipping's hard work, ya know! I would need to have a great big minion to whip the other minions.

John and Forrest: Thank you for your very kind offers regarding transport. But my preferred vehicle is and always will be the Space Hopper, in classic orange.

As several people have said I write like China Mieville, I'm thinking of shaving my head and calling myself Mini-Mieville.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 03:54 pm:   

If John is 6 ft 2, perhaps he could be the major minion?


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ben peek
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 06:14 pm:   

well, you know, you can't be an evil ruling whatchimicallit with minions if you don't put a bit of effort into it.

just a bit, mind.
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Luís Rodrigues
Posted on Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 09:43 am:   

Problem with pandas is that they excel at only one sin (maybe because that sin is Sloth). They are notoriously bad at Lust, for instance -- ironically, the Deadly Sin that could save their lives.

Best,
Luís
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 02:39 pm:   

I've got the sloth/whipping problem worked out. I'll have a whipping machine, and I shall condescend to push the stop-start button from time to time.

Pandas are good at Gluttony - though admittedly there's a sorry lack of real Evil in a diet of bamboo shoots, however copiously ingested.
Perhaps it would be a Good thing if someone could make porn for pandas. Starring the lovely, cuddly Pornda Bare... I'm not sure if I should leave that in, it even makes me cringe... oh, what the heck...
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peterw
Posted on Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 04:42 pm:   

KJ, your restraint is an ideal to which more of should aspire.

And I thought Porno for Pandas was Perry Feral's (sp?) post-Janes Addiction band... At any rate, it could only be a boon for the porn industry by bringing back some of that cute-and-cuddliness that so few people associate with porn these days.

Btw, started Etched City, and am so far really digging it. Loved the passphrases Raule found on the dead guy: LMAO!
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ben peek
Posted on Tuesday, May 20, 2003 - 05:36 pm:   

see, a machine, now that's that evil dicatory mind working right there. just remember to make sure there are cardboard faces of you over them machines, so the slaves dont start worshipping the wrong thing.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Wednesday, May 21, 2003 - 01:22 am:   

Does anyone remember a sketch on British TV years ago (I think the Not The 9 O Clock News) which was based around a man whose job it was to collect sperm from reluctant pandas, and an ensuing debate as to what profession he put on his passport...

I think you should get out the whipping machine and stop us right here, actually...
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Nicholas Liu
Posted on Wednesday, May 21, 2003 - 07:19 am:   

I have a faint recollection of that sketch. I think it was Not The 9 O'Clock News, too, but that was a long time ago (for one so young; I saw it on tape), so I'm not sure.
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Wednesday, May 21, 2003 - 11:42 pm:   

I have vague memories of a panda sketch, too - but I think it was on a local show called 'Australia you're standing in it'. I wasn't allowed to watch Not The 9 O'Clock News because it was always on after my bedtime :-(

And by order of Cardinal Bishop, everyone shall be poked with soft cushions and made to sit in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven!
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Tim
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 01:10 am:   

For anyone ordering The Etched City in the UK, they can get hold of it in WHSmiths for the measly sum of £10.95. I'm sure this must mean they can get it at about any decent bookshop in England. So there's no excuse, is there? Just thought some of you might like to know.
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 03:48 am:   

Peter: I used to write haiku. I wasn't very good at it, hence 'used to' :-) But those passphrases came out of that. Glad you're digging the book!
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 03:51 am:   

Tim: wow, that's pretty cheap compared to what it costs here in Oz. $40, no less, which is about £16.
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peterw
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 07:50 am:   

I did notice the resemblance to haiku, but wasn't sure if it was intentional; the syllable count was off. But don't give up on it KJ: Oz is in dire need of a haiku-laureate!

Did you catch the haiku-spouting marine in Cryptonomicon? That actually prompted me to try nippo-versifying a bit. So I too can say "used to" .
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 01:40 pm:   

I love haikus! There is at least one in every issue of my zine. I used to take my notes in haiku in college. Of course, I'm a bit off.

JK
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Liz Williams
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 01:59 pm:   

A friend of mine writes something called SciHaiku - I think there is a website.

Don't do 'em. And won't inflict what I am pleased to call my poetry upon the world (haven't actually written any for about the past decade and believe me, it is just as well). But I have no objection to other people writing it.
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Sean Wallace
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 02:37 pm:   

In regards to this statement, "they can get hold of it in WHSmiths for the measly sum of £10.95. I'm sure this must mean they can get it at about any decent bookshop in England." This would appear to be an imported edition and the chain bookstore actually does not have it available or in stock. No one in the United Kingdom is currently authorised to carry the title in active distribution channels, apart from those bookstores who are importing it from the United States. There is actually two copies available from an amazon marketplace seller, but this is probably someone who purchased them from the United States. So anyone wanting to get the US edition from the current publisher would have to purchase it direct from Prime Books or from one of the specialty bookstores currently carrying it. Or wait until the British edition is released.
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Tim
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 02:44 am:   

That's interesting. Smiths did say that it would take about a month to arrive. But smiths is a chain store and it is available in the UK on their website for an even cheaper £10.40 at www.whsmith.co.uk It states that it will be dispatched in 2-4 weeks. haven't checked prime's website. But there's an alternative anyway.
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KJ Bishop
Posted on Saturday, May 24, 2003 - 02:31 am:   

Peter: There's some disagreement among Anglophone haiku poets about whether the 5-7-5 should be stuck to or not when writing haiku in English... I never got into the argument, though. I thought I'd just sort of vaguely go for the spirit of haiku in the passphrases :-) The one about the gecko was adapted from a haiku I wrote to a small slug I saw one evening, which I shall now inflict on the readers of this message board:

Just you and me, slug --
The moon on the jasmine
is all ours tonight

I have to admit, I haven't read Cryptonomicon. Loved Snow Crash and The Diamond Age, but for some reason Cryptonomicon didn't appeal to me. Maybe I should give it another go.

John: You took your notes in haiku?? I think that makes you a haiku otaku (seriously dedicated fan) of some kind!

Liz: I used to write SciFaiku, which I imagine are the same thing as SciHaiku. There's a site here, everyone:
http://www.scifaiku.com/

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peterw
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 02:51 pm:   

KJ, thanks for the haiku; I think that fits with the spirit of the classic haikus.

I too greatly enjoyed Snow Crash and Diamond Age. Cryptonomicon was good, but the book should have been about half the size; little if any editing going on at all there, it seems (he says, donning his flameproof suit).

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