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Night Shade Message Boards » Rossi, Matthew » My neighbors, while barbecueing, discussed getting their DNA altered... « Previous Next »

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Matthew Rossi
Posted on Wednesday, August 18, 2004 - 11:16 pm:   

I could hear them chatting over the fence about having their DNA altered so that they could grow rhino horns and/or spots like a leopard. Looking at them (I live in the whitest neighborhood in the universe it sometimes seems) I can't say I would be disappointed... it would make them easier to tell apart.

Anyway, suppose that DNA resequencing becomes the new tattooing. What're you going to get done? Oh, and I guess it's retroviral or someodd to explain why it changes you at all.
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Chris Roberson
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 07:55 am:   

Prehensile tail, baby. No question about it.
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Neddal
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 01:14 pm:   

Cat's eyes, retractable claws, the ability to change skin colour like a chameleon, and possibly gills (like the Man From Atlantis.)

Chris - Would you get extra hair to go with your prehensile tail? The idea of a hairless prehensile tail is very disturbing to me.
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JV
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 01:18 pm:   

The idea that you've spent a lot of time envisioning Chris' prehensile tail is *extremely* disturbing to me, Neddal...

JV
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Matthew Rossi
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 01:53 pm:   

Aw, come on! Chris' prehensile tail is fun for the whole family... in a variety of ways some charming and fun and some terrifying and horrible in the extreme.

I should point out that it was Jeff who suggested I post this thread here.

Oh, and I'm getting squid traits. Skin that changes color, a host of powerful tentacles for crushing prey, and near-total malleability. Squids are taking over the world, after all, according to this article:
http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,4811363%255E13762,00.html
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Chris Roberson
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 02:50 pm:   

Neddal, somehow the idea of a prehensile tail *with* hair sounds so much, much worse than a hairless one.
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Neddal
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 03:40 pm:   

I dunno man, picture a hairless spider monkey or lemur.

Not that I've given much thought to the logistics of a prehensile tail or anything, but it would seem to me that a prehensile tail covered with regular skin would be almost literally a pain in the ass. (sorry)

Jeff - That's me, extremely distrubing. So what would you do with your designer DNA?

Matt - Hmmmm..., sounds like you want to be Cthulhu.

The don't mention octopi in the article. I wonder if octopi are undergoing a population explosion as well? You going to work this into an essay over at OIN?
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Matthew Rossi
Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 04:39 pm:   

I actually did a while back, in an essay involving the dragon lines of force, arthropod empires and the predatory squids that feasted upon the trilobytes.

A prehensile tail with skin, if it had skin similar to the pads of a finger, could actually be very useful if it were as strong in proportion to our bodies and our weight as those that arboreal monkeys possess.

Jeff should probably be required to get meercat DNA.
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JV
Posted on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 08:53 am:   

I'd probably mix and match. I'd take a cat's sense of hearing, a dolphin's sonar, and an owl's vision. Then I'd add on the Alien's corrosive acid blood, a meerkat's sense of community organization, slap in some whale brain for Deep Thought, attach some sloth spurs to my wrists for better climbing action, an antelope's digestive system so I could better forage off the land in an emergency, attach a prehensile tail tipped with a scorpion's stinger and a small monkey hand, graft on some nurse shark gills for water breathin', and, just maybe, some pteradactyl wings for flyin'. And that might be enough.

I'm just sayin'. If you're gonna do it, might as well go hog wild. Speaking of which--I'd take a pig's sense of smell.

JeffV
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Matthew Rossi
Posted on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 01:33 pm:   

Any DNA alteration worth doing is worth doing right, I guess.
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JeffV
Posted on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 01:39 pm:   

...then I'd go back in time and kick the asses of anyone who picked on me in middle school. boy, wouldn't they be surprised...
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Mastadge
Posted on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 04:08 pm:   

"Then I'd add on the Alien's corrosive acid blood"

With all your mammalian and avian bits, that Alien blood's going to be bad for your health.
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Luis
Posted on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 08:00 pm:   

Antelope? If I could pick a digestive system, it'd be that of a vulture. The stomach lining on those bastards is practically made of iron. Plus, I'd get free gastric juices almost as good as any alien blood. Ah, the coveted acid vomit attack power . . .

And I want snake sensors for infrared "vision" too.

Best,
Luís
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Robert Devereux
Posted on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 04:46 pm:   

I was also thinking about the digestive system of a vulture. Just imagine being able to eat nearly anything and not get sick. While it may be disgusting, it is a great survival mechanism.

I do like the idea of squid's color changing skin. Plus bioluminesence. Change the color of your skin at will, and be able to make it glow!

Also maybe a throat sack like a gibbon, for a nice loud singing voice.
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Mastadge
Posted on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 05:36 pm:   

"I was also thinking about the digestive system of a vulture. Just imagine being able to eat nearly anything and not get sick. While it may be disgusting, it is a great survival mechanism"

Plus, because of the soft beaks that are no good for pecking, they instead vomit their carion up on aggressors. It's nasty. Take my word for it, you don't want it aimed at you.
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Matthew Rossi
Posted on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 08:08 pm:   

Oh, I think we were all with you on not wanting it aimed at us from the moment the word vomit arrived.

The squid skin occurred to me while watching that The Future is Wild show with the giant squid that could become invisible by matching its skin to what is around it in the water.
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Luis
Posted on Sunday, August 22, 2004 - 01:15 am:   

The DISEASED, acid vomit attack power. On the downside, it gives you bad breath.

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