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Vera Nazarian
Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 05:55 am:   

I'm finally admitting that I am having one now, a genuine honest-to-goodness nasty SOLID writers block. The worst one I've ever had in my life.

Absolutely stuck on a rewrite request for a proposal on a major project.

It is really pissing me off too. Until I get past it I cannot do anything else on any other project.

I even know what it is -- a combination of anxiety about my financial uncertaintly, the house falling apart, the fact that the plot motivations and the characters have not really gelled for me and the fact that I don't *know* what makes the characters special yet -- special to me, exciting, vibrant, in pain, what-the-fuck-ever.

And yet, I have to do this thing, because if I don't, I miss a very good $$ opportunity.

The book is just not ready in my mind. I HATE working from an outline.

May I scream now? MAY I?

Under ideal circumstances I would put this thing aside for a couple of years -- it is what I usually do with all my projects; I write (develop ideas) with the speed of a jungle sloth.

But no, I gotta do it. Being torn completely, spinning my wheels in the air, knowing I gotta do SOMETHING.

Shit.

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