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Vera Nazarian
Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2004 - 02:02 pm:   

Here's something I wrote a while ago and posted in the SFWA Lounge...

* * *

Ode to Selling Out

Hey, Mister Product Marketing Guy,
Please look my way before I die.
Hey, Mister Product Marketing Guy,
Let me endorse your prudent buy.

Oh please, I beg you, take my pic,
I'll spout your slogan in Newsweek,
I'll moon them with brand name tatoos
As I pull down my underoos.

Want me to sing, to dance, to kiss?
Just wire a neat sum to my Swiss.
Want me to lick somebody's ass?
Sure thing, for cash will handle gas.

Whatever items you need sold,
Here's my endorsement paid in gold.
There's just one place I draw the line...
My wit's my own -- thus, I decline.

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