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Deborah
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 07:38 pm:   

...anybody heard any good jokes lately?

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Elvis
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 07:52 pm:   

There are many here among us who think that life is but a joke...
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Deborah
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 08:04 pm:   

Whoa, it's The King...I'm gettin' overcome with emotion!

Could you throw one of those scarves while I collect my wits?

By the way, I loved "Kissin' Cousins." Is that on DVD now?
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Lucius
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 08:18 pm:   

A man does a good deed and as a reward his guardian angel appears and offers him the answer to any question he wishes to ask.  But she says to take his time and she will return in two days.  Well the man immediately realized he could become very rich:  Which stock will go up the most over the next five years?  Which horse will win the Kentucky Derby?  Who will win the next Superbowl? etc.  But then he thought, why waste this chance of a lifetime on money?  After all, money is only a means to happiness.  With the right question he can determine the secret of happiness itself!  But the more he
thought about it, the more he worried about tricks the angel might play: for example, suppose he asked, "What will make me the happiest man in the universe?" And she answered, "Go live on planet Rigel III" - perhaps true, but perfectly useless.

So our careful questioner decided to take this problem to the nearest philosophy department for assistance.  He put the problem to the chair. The chair loved the challenge and as it happens, they were having a departmental meeting that evening anyway, so he told the man to return the next day.  When the man returned, the chair beamed and informed him that the department put its best minds together and came up with the best possible question to ask the angel - and naturally he told the man the question to ask.

The next day the angel appeared and asked, "Well, do you have a question for me?"  "Yes," the man replied with a great deal of confidence in his voice. "What are the members of the following ordered pair:  the first member of the pair is the best possible question I could ask you, and the second member of the pair is the answer to that question?"  The angel smiled and said, "You know, you couldn't have asked me a better question.  In fact the first member of the pair IS the question you just asked.  But that means the second member is the answer I'm giving you now."

Little Philosphy joke. :-)
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Elvis
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 08:20 pm:   

Hey, uh, Deborah...I'm all up in that DVD, y'know. Every picture I ever made, including the lost Elvis movie, TD and the Unruly Azalea.

Thank you...thank you very much
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Deborah
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 08:29 pm:   

Lucius, good one, except now I'm having a recursive episode and I'm forced to ask...so, anybody heard any good jokes lately?

Elvis, what I wouldn't give to see that lost movie--I bet it's another instant. Reckon where I could get a look at it...
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Elvis
Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2003 - 08:40 pm:   

Uh, Deborah...yeah, okay...I think you might be be able tp pick up a bootleg at KingCon...

uh-huh-huh
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LeslieWhat
Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2003 - 10:04 am:   

I'm really bad at jokes and usually only remember the punchlines. But I can point you toward an animation of possible interest. The last screen shows a beard that's too awesome to be the object of derision, unlike beards recently discussed on another BBS. (The animation is on a loop, so pour a cup o. coffee and get back to it)

http://geocities.com/teensydog/anotherday.html
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Deborah
Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2003 - 12:24 pm:   

Thanks, Leslie. I couldn't get the animation to work though -- I often seem to lack the right plug-ins.

Speaking of bad at jokes...I had a friend in college who was infamous for telling these horrible jokes. It got so bad that we used to make him reveal the punchline first and then we'd decide if he could tell the actual joke. Usually the vote went against him. Fortunately he took it well.

When he got married four of his friends went shopping together and bought four identical toasters and had them wrapped identically. His bride was really pissed off that his friends didn't seem to be taking the whole wedding/gift thing very seriously, but he thought it was hilarious. They only made it a few years.

Which has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was funny.

Sunday morning steam of consciousness I reckon.

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LeslieWhat
Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2003 - 12:50 pm:   

Try it again sometime. The man is one of my fave artists and people in the world. Near his birthday, he legally changed his name to A. Fluffy Bunny and then designed an evil beard for the picture for his new nurse's ID tag.

Laughing at the same jokes is important.
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Jeremy Lassen
Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2003 - 03:46 pm:   

Funny Boondocks
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Deborah
Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2003 - 04:42 pm:   

Thanks, Jeremy, that's a good'n.
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Jay Lake
Posted on Monday, June 02, 2003 - 03:40 pm:   

Hey, Jeremy, what's the name of that strip?
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Celia Marsh
Posted on Monday, June 02, 2003 - 06:51 pm:   

I'm not Jeremy, but I can answer that question: Boondocks (http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/)
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Jay Lake
Posted on Monday, June 02, 2003 - 07:07 pm:   

Thanks, not-Jeremy. Nice closet, btw.
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Deborah
Posted on Monday, June 02, 2003 - 07:45 pm:   

Hi, Celia,

Hey -- everybody -- meet Celia. She has a story in Polyphony 3.

Nice to see you here.

Deborah
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Jeremy Lassen
Posted on Tuesday, June 03, 2003 - 02:34 pm:   

Also funny

http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war24.html
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Bob Kruger
Posted on Tuesday, June 03, 2003 - 07:21 pm:   

This is kind of grim, but I got a chuckle out of it, the Cinnamon Challenge:

http://www.stinkfactor.com/coHandler.cfm?coid=8

Who'da thunk that a tablespoon of dry powdered cinnamon could darn near asphyxiate you? I'd say anyone with a brain.

Bob

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