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George Rowe the Dog, Poster Boy for A...

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George's Agent
Posted on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 07:40 pm:   

George doesn't have fingers, so he can't type. But he frequently has news and so he deserves a thread.

George's latest accomplishment is being the inspiration for the new website: Dogs Hate Bush.
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George's Agent
Posted on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 08:42 pm:   

George Rowe the Dog, Poster Boy for American Values, is pleased to announce that he proudly carried in a dead animal earlier in the evening, causing much excitement. Where does he find these things?

Mostly in the backyard.

(Suspicion that black cat who hangs out back there is a serial killer.)
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George's Man in Amsterdam
Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2004 - 11:51 am:   

Recently, as in within the last 24 hours, Mr. Rowe the Dog has been seen frolicking in the snow. He may also have engaged in a brief marriage with Christina Aguilera, who was just trying to keep up in her publicity arms race with Britney. His lawyer, luckily, was able to argue that since George is fixed, he can't make these sorts of decisions and win an extremely sympathetic annulment from the judge.

Now, Mr. Rowe the Dog asks that in his period of readjustment to the single life, the paparazzi please leave him be. Please.
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John
Posted on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 09:22 am:   

This just in --

Mr. Rowe the Dog and Ms. Aguilera will be appearing on an upcoming Celebrities Uncensored. The footage that will be presented is supposedly extremely sexually graphic in nature. As for myself, I personally will avoid viewing this material at all costs. No thanks!!!

Mr. Rowe the Dog has released a statement saying that he's embarassed over this footage that apparently may potentially outsell the Paris Hilton sex tapes, if it hits the open market.

However, Ms. Aguilera reportedly claims that it's "all in a day's work" for her and reportedly still has not showered since her previous greasy MTV video shoot.

This senseless and needless invasion of two dogs' private lives needs to stop.

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George Rowe the Dog's Attorney-at-Length
Posted on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 11:52 am:   

This is a vicious lie. Mr. Rowe the Dog's veterinarian has performed a palpitation and determined that he is, in delicate terms, "fixed."

No word on whether this is the case for Ms. Aguilera, but one thinks not.

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