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Jay C
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 03:39 pm:   

Small children in restaurants
Small children in planes
Jackhammers
Ladism (both male and female) hmmm, should that be one 'd' or two?
Political tribalism
Studied stupidity
Jingoism
Parochialism
Celine Dion
Organised religion
Football games (they interfere with my bus transport)

These are a few of my least favourite things.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 03:54 pm:   

Little to argue with here. Don't get me started.

I'd add: people who bellow incoherently outside my flat at 3 am on their way back from the clubs (but that probably falls under the ladism bit)

- builders (especially the bloke who drove a nail through next door's gas pipe a few Friday's ago and then went home for the weekend, leaving this place to fill up with toxic vapours)

- small violent dogs

- seagulls (or shite-hawks, as they are aptly known around here) who rip open my binbag and strew the contents liberally over the road

- people who do that thing of lying face down at the bottom of the swimming pool to improve their breathing, so that you don't know whether or not they have drowned

- people who are clearly affluent, but who order half a pint and then sit in the pub nursing it all evening and taking up all the seats

- people who say "You'll get over it" - whatever 'it' is

There are bound to be more...

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Laura Anne
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 09:52 am:   

-- Pointy-headed bosses (A Dilbertism that's so so apt)

-- Men who take up two seats on the subway and then get huffy when you ask them to move.

-- People who assume that just because they're plus-size I (or any other not-plus-size person) should give them half of my paid-for seat and not complain or otherwise be peeved about it.


Can you tell I had a less than pleasant commute in this morning?

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Liz Williams
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 11:10 am:   

Yes, what is that thing with men and their legs??

(The train ain't good, wherever it is. I went to sleep on the train last week and woke to find someone who looked like Aleister Crowley fondling my feet and drooling. It's just not what you want...)

Also on my hit list at the moment: the gas board. Probably this needs no explanation.
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 01:47 pm:   

As a XXL-shirt wearing, size 13-shoe walking guy, I apologize for the rest of us. I try to take up as little room as possible, but I know I'm not very successful. However, I never complain if someone asks me to move. You should see Minz and I sit next to each other on the train, it's like looking at a package of bratwurst.

--umbrellas, I always catch them in the eye as manic people try to dodge rain drops

--people who don't turn on their headlights in bad weather

--poorly proofread books

--warm soda and cold pizza (when you're at a restaurant...hungover the next morning, them's good eats!)
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Liz Williams
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 01:55 pm:   

John - there is a new agey publisher in this country called Capall Bann, who occasionally bring out some interesting reference material (if you're into mythology of various kinds), but their books are absolutely woefully proofread.

Drives me nuts - though not as nuts as a friend of mine who writes for them. In her book on animal lore, they omitted an entire chapter, on snakes.

Umbrellas are lethal and I never carry one. I have lots of hair instead.

Also on my list are people who suddenly grab you by the ankles when you're going up a flight of stairs - oh wait, that would be our board host...
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Laura Anne
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 03:45 pm:   

"Also on my list are people who suddenly grab you by the ankles when you're going up a flight of stairs - oh wait, that would be our board host..."


Hrm. He's never done that to me. Probably because he doesn't have -that- much of a death wish...

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Liz Williams
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 03:50 pm:   

He likes to live on the edge, as I'm sure you know. Britain's SF scene almost lost its rising star <ahem>

But you know what they say - vengeance is a dish best eaten cold. Mwahahahaha!
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Jay C
Posted on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 05:34 pm:   

Which one? Richard Morgan? China's already risen.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 01:43 am:   

No! I meant me! It's called 'irony'.

Perhaps this hit squad thing should be formalised into, say, the 'Nightshade Boys'. If we deem it that one of our fellow writers becomes too successful, we send the NB in under cover of darkness. I kinda like that, it has a vaguely eighteenth century ring, bit like 'Captain Moonlight.'

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Laura Anne
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 04:09 am:   

Hrm. Direct competition for the SFWA Assassin? I'm not sure that's allowed...

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Liz Williams
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 05:18 am:   

I don't want a visit from any guild or union-type folk - she said, hastily.

But since we do have several Glaswegians on board, it seems a pity not to waste them...Also they get...tetchy...if there's no action for a bit...
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Neil vice-chair of the former Glaswegian Assassins Guild
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 06:01 am:   

Liz, I'm afraid Glaswegian policy has officially drifted from the traditional "going to foreign places and executing the locals with one butt of an adamantine forhead" to "going to foreign places and, well, being friends with everyone in sight". Jeez, we managed to send 50,000 Celtic fans to Seville the other day, and no-one got arrested. They just drank lots of beer and fell asleep draped over various items of centuries old public statuary.

However, if you'd really like someone to fly in under cover of darkness, wearing little else but a bright green sombrero and a pair of flip-flops, and buy your chosen victim drinks until he falls over... I can probably find a willing volunteer (not me though, green is against my religion - I'm on the other half of the city).
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Liz Williams-of-the-Williams-Deathstalker-Clan
Posted on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 08:55 am:   

Thanks for clarifying that, Neil, but I fear your lot are letting the Celtic side down BIGTIME. Though not insofar as drinking is concerned, I am glad to see.

Don't tell me I must return to my homeland to locate some Cymric headbutting recruits.
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neil williamson
Posted on Sunday, May 25, 2003 - 03:25 am:   

Nah you're all right. I'm sure we can muster up some dark Glaswegian menace for the right price. Pint of heavy and a doner kebab and I'm positively scary!

BTW in this instance Celtic, with a soft "c" refers to the football team, and my half of the city are not want to support their side in any way. Celtic, with a hard "c", on the other hand is a racial matter not a sporting one.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Sunday, May 25, 2003 - 04:27 am:   

Always good to know I can rely on you, Neil. Though what if we're in America at the time? They don't do pints of heavy.

Or do they?
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Laura Anne
Posted on Monday, May 26, 2003 - 03:49 pm:   

*sigh* And thanks to this thread, I'm reading a header over in the sff.net SFWA lounge as being about "Religion, Education and Laddism" instead of Ludism.

Not that there is much difference, I suspect, knowing the players...
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Liz Williams
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 01:54 am:   

LOL! Adequately sums up British culture, if you ask me - though perhaps not the 'education' part. (Given that I was woken at 4 am by a roaring, hooting mob...)

Just blame Jay for everything, even if it's not actually his fault. It's a helpful default mode, we've found.

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Jay C
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 06:39 am:   

ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!! They've found a way to spam mobile phones over here. Not only that, they're "You have won a prize" messages.
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John Klima
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 06:40 am:   

Oh man, that sucks.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 08:38 am:   

Gawd. I knew there was a reason I never use the mobile.

Next it will be teenage sluts and their oral abilities. I have all sorts of filters and I still had to delete a War&Peace worth of spam this morning...
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Laura Anne
Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 08:48 am:   

They've done WHAT?

Mind you, we get that #*@*% all the time on the answering machine, but it has't spread to mobiles yet.

Of course, we also just had a law signed into being over here in NJ that makes it illegal for anyone to cold-call you once you sign up with the "no call" registry. I'm waiting to see how well it works...
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Laura Anne
Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 05:52 pm:   

Okay, I have a new one:

admin assistants who think that when they clap their hands, everyone in the entire department should jump...for no reason other than they wanted to clap their hands.
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Jay C
Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - 06:13 pm:   

Yep, that works. let me add, headhunters who never call you back.
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Jay C
Posted on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 05:46 pm:   

Arghhh, another new one. Helicopters that hover over my place of residence in the wee hours of the morning. I spent too much time working in Belfast for that to be at all comfortable.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 09:22 pm:   

oh, ouch. As you know, I have a bit of a phobia about that one myself...

(although we haven't heard anything do the heavy chop-chop-chop low over the house since before the last high alert...)
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Jay C
Posted on Saturday, June 14, 2003 - 07:27 am:   

Yeah, it's most unsettling. And loud.
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Mike Jasper
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 10:35 am:   

Jay -- "ladism"??

Is that like "the good ole boys" sort of thing? Or as you'd say, "with the lads"?

Sort of a us vs. them mentality w/ gender?

Just curious. An interesting term.

Celine Dion, yeah. She must go.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 12:13 pm:   

Helicopters: yes, the single Brighton police chopper that goes up at every faint excuse and costs the taxpayer a fortune. Also noted for small-hours-of-the-morning visits.

My latest gripe: exhausts that suddenly fall off one's relatively new car 120 miles from home...
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Jay C
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003 - 12:19 pm:   

Lager louts and being an absolute loud-mouthed, playing-up one of the boys. Yeah. Girls do it over here too.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - 08:12 am:   

I'm aware of a vague sense of guilt in being so intolerant, judgmental and generally unserene, but hey! This is a place of unholy sanctimoniousness, right?

So onto the list goes: people (ie men, I'm afraid) who emit loud, orgasmic grunts in yoga class. It should not be _that_ painful! It is not _that_ much fun! Why, therefore?
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Jay C
Posted on Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - 08:17 am:   

To prove they are making the effort? Zen ladism.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Tuesday, June 17, 2003 - 08:27 am:   

What a concept!!!

But you are probably right. I've noticed it in the gym as well. Usually accompanied by constant glimpses into the mirror on the part of the grunting person...
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Jay C
Posted on Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 06:39 am:   

Well, it beats Zen farting.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 07:31 am:   

Yeah, except I bet there's plenty of that, too, did I but know it. Yoga types tend toward the macrobiotic roughage...

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Laura Anne
Posted on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 03:31 am:   

I have a new one. Arrogant pissants (Canadian, thereby disproving the myth about politeness) who go on in public about how Americans spell everything wrong and why don't they know any better.

All this because we use "o" instead of "ou" and "er" instead of "re."

(God(s) know, I can't spell. But that has nothing to do with what he was talking about)

I pointed out that language is a living creature and use and evolution trumps tradition every time. Referenced Mexican Spanish versus Castillian Spanish. And then I went away.

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Liz Williams
Posted on Monday, June 23, 2003 - 03:52 am:   

Shakespeare is also the lad to quote. Couldn't even spell his own name...

I also have a new one. Workmen who tell you that they will have to saw your kitchen unit in half in order to get at the gas pipe, and when you say "So what happens after that when there is a gaping hole?", they reply "Dunno, love - you'll have to sort it out, won't you?" Sigh.
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2003 - 12:32 pm:   

Hmm, I have a new one. I hate it when a perfectly respectable message board gets taken over by morons.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2003 - 01:11 pm:   

Yeah, well, like the poor, they are always with us. And they never give names.

Having just been for a walk I should like to add another one, too - people who shoot you with water pistols on whim. I know it's ludicrously hot, but even so. A phrase deploying the words 'fuck' and 'off' had to be deployed.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2003 - 02:05 pm:   

Liz,

We found the cure for that over here in the States. Cops who see teenaged males hanging on on street corners holding something that looks like a gun as justifiable cause to take out their _real_ guns and yell "freeze!"

The average i.q. of teenagers on street corners went up immediately thereafter.

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Liz Williams
Posted on Monday, August 11, 2003 - 01:09 am:   

I'd be all for that over here (the only drawback being that British police aren't generally armed, but when they are, they have a somewhat lamentable tendency to shoot the wrong person, however).

I wouldn't mind so much - it is hot, after all - but you're never initially sure that what you've just been sprayed with is water or something else of a dubious or sinister nature.
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Cadigan, Pat
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 03:24 am:   

Celine Dion in restaurants
Football in planes
Parochial football games
Religious ladism
Small children with jackhammers

...or is just me?
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 05:22 am:   

Oooooh *shiver*

You've just made me go all cold with horror.
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Amy Sisson
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 07:35 am:   

Jay, over here I think (could be wrong) that it's illegal to telemarket cell phones because the owner of the phone is paying for the time, even for incoming calls, even if on a phone plan.

Just like it's illegal to send telemarketing faxes because then they're using your paper and your toner without asking your permission first.

We've had a do-not-call registry in New York State for well over a year; it's cut down some, but since politicians and charitable groups are exempted, we're still getting an awful lot of calls around dinner time....

Adding to the list:
- Jennifer Lopez (I refuse to call her J.Lo just because she wants us to)
- cars running red lights
- the mayor of New York City blaming the blackout on Canada, right up until it was determined it started in Ohio


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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 07:55 am:   

Amy, *laugh* Yeah. There was some program late last night that was talking about Jello and Bennifer Afleck. I found this amusing. It almost made up for her painful self.

Good on the no call register. But then, people very rarely call me. I fear my home telephone because I know, generally, that it's not going to be anyone I know. Unless, of course it's 5:00 in the morning, when it's bound to be my mother.

Speaking of telemarketing, of a form, I am sick to death of Nigerian scam spam.
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 04:53 am:   

Oh, a new one: People who don't follow through on what they agree to do.

Reason? A couple of weeks ago, I agreed to sell my TorCon membership to someone. The said they had put the funds in a global priority mailer. No sign of anything. Multiple emails and no response. It is now too late to do membership transfers.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 05:25 am:   

Shit. That's really bad. Do you know where they live? Williamson and I will go round if you like, with a large brick.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 06:04 am:   

I stil say the guy owes you the money. You have the e-mails agreeing to it, that's a written contract, right?


I'm going to be keeping an eye out at TorCon. If I see that name on a badge I'll arrange to have them, um, Talked To.
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Liz Williams
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 06:23 am:   

I think Laura Anne's right. Enforcing it is otherwise a bit difficult, but yeah... Talked To if seen.
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Flatnosednoneck Minzinni
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 06:31 am:   

re "talking to"
Guido Minzinni & Nuncio Korlioma stand ready to help translate into baseball bat.
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 06:38 am:   

I do prefer to settle things amicably, but let's see if anything develops in the next couple of days.
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Amy Sisson
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 07:24 am:   

Jay, you CAN still transfer a membership, you just can't do a pre-con transfer.

If somebody wants your membership, you would just provide them with a written signed letter authorizing the transfer, and they show that with picture ID at con registration. (Of course, time is getting short even for this.) I bought a membership to Worldcon this way, once years ago when I went at the last minute.

Since I just cancelled this year's Worldcon plans (bummer), I just listed my membership and my husband's on ebay. It's a win-win situation if I sell them, because I'll recoup some (but not all) of what I spent on it, and somebody will save at least $100 on a membership.

Good luck!
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 08:16 am:   

Ahh, thanks. Yeah, just think I've worked something out, courtesy Mr. Minz. Thanks, Jim.
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Dennis McCunney
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2003 - 10:30 pm:   

Jay Caselberg said:

>Speaking of telemarketing, of a form, I am sick to death of Nigerian scam spam.

http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20021222&mode=classic

and

http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20021202 and subsequent.
______
Dennis
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Thursday, August 21, 2003 - 02:53 am:   

Oh yeah. Love the second one.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 06:23 am:   

People who don't want to get onto a subway car because there are no seats available, but instead stand in front of the open doorway to wait for the next train-- blocking the way for those of us who need to get to work, damn it.
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 08:08 am:   

Ah yes. Works on the tube too. The solution, of course, is to push them under the next train.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 01:27 pm:   

Meetings that are pushed back half an hour. And then don't start on time. And then are pushed back another five minutes.

And especially meetings wherein this happens almost every bloody week, simply because the person holding the meetings cannot for the love of god get her shit together.

What me, ranting?

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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 01:37 pm:   

Users that cause the problem you want to fix and instead of changing their procedures, you have to write all sorts of go-arounds to ensure they don't screw up their data.
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Lisa Mantchev
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 09:38 am:   

Laura: I promise you that if business meetings are bad, teachers' meetings are ten times worse. At the end of a six year stint at the same school, I'd learned to keep my mouth shut and never make eye contact with _anyone_. Oh, and I also hid a fork up my sleeve in case I needed to stab myself in the eye and escape via ambulance.

Hi Jay! *G*
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 10:49 am:   

Lis! Hiya. So nice to see you here. You keeping the faith?
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Lisa Mantchev
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 12:10 pm:   

Depends on your definition of faith. *G* Three new stories, in various stages of rewriting. Sixteen making the rounds. *Cracking knuckles*
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 01:12 pm:   

Good for you, girl. Keep 'em out there.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 01:22 pm:   

Lisa,

Sadly, if I were to stab myself in the eye at one of these meetings, my boss would hand me a pile of manuscripts to read on the way to the hospital...

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Lisa Mantchev
Posted on Saturday, October 18, 2003 - 05:02 pm:   

Laura,

Dang. You know you're in a rough gig when a fork to the eye won't get you at least one day off! ;)
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John Klima
Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 01:46 pm:   

Work places that will not provide direct deposit and bank tellers who do not listen to what you say, so instead of cashing your check and depositing cash so the money is available immediately, they make a regular deposit so your money is available on Monday (since it takes three business days for a work check to clear).

stupid

mother

fuckers

And the fucking bank assesses fines when you overdraw your available balance, even though you have a current balance that reflects your work check deposit, it's just not cleared yet.

worthless

shit

heads
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unohoo
Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 07:56 pm:   

Must

Kill

Moe



Wheeeeee!
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Liz
Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 01:33 am:   

Also

must

die

are banks which inform you that 'it could take up to 2 months for our department in Ultima Thule-which-has-no-telephone-number-and-which-is-staffed-by-trolls to process your dollar cheque, madam, even though the issuing bank in New Jersey is prepared to fax us with a guarantee that funds are in the account'.

Cue writing of vitriol-soaked letter and threat of removal of account. Result: cheque paid next day.
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Jay Caselberg
Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 12:36 pm:   

I hate banks. Yes. I hate banks. I hate evil, money-grubbing banks. They are arseholes.
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John Klima
Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 01:01 pm:   

Strangely enough, my consulting company is giving to provide me with direct deposit as a direct result of my bitching.

JK
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Liz
Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 01:59 pm:   

John, always remember: bitching pays. At least when it comes to banks, and also the railways. I discovered this on writing a letter to the railway (after the umpteenth delay on the Brighton line, and about 2 months after the Paddington crash) which ended: "At least I am still alive, unlike so many of your recent customers." Got me a bunch of free tickets.
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Laura Anne
Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 04:06 pm:   

That's our Liz, sweet and demure to the very end...
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Liz
Posted on Saturday, October 25, 2003 - 01:56 am:   

I am ever the lady, natch.

Demure behaviour ground to a halt in our family ever since the day that my Great Aunt Laura (there you go), round about 1915, got so tired with my great-grandfather behaving like a tyrannical Victorian paterfamilias that she flung her dinner at him. So much for the stiff upper lip.

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